A Quick Intro

This might seem odd, but I’m going to post today’s blog in 2 parts: this one, the explanation, and the next one, the content. If you subscribe to my blog through emails, you’ll get two this morning. My apologies for that, but don’t worry; I don’t foresee this happening again.

Okay, here’s the rundown. I have a poem called “The Skeleton” that was published in the September 2011 issue of Spaceports & Spidersilk, a kids’ horror magazine put out by Sam Dot’s Publishing. For whatever reason (short backlog, glitch, who knows?), it’s no longer accessible in their archives. If I have a poem published, I’ll keep a link to it on my Find & Read My Published Works page. If the link goes dead, I like to repost the poem here on my blog so people can still easily read it, because generally you can’t get anyone to pick up an already published poem.

And this poem is definitely a spooky, Halloween-like poem, so this month seemed the perfect time to post it here. The problem is that it’s very short—four lines—and I felt sort of like a cheapskate putting a poem worth $2 (that’s how much they paid me, haha) as an entire blog post. But I do love the poem, I think there’s a great underrated beauty in simplicity, and I wanted it to have a post. What to do?

I got this crazy idea: I should add more value by pairing it with artwork (an idea I hijacked from my poetry organization’s yearly art and poetry exhibit Merging Visions). I immediately thought of my Twitter friend Andie Wolf, who is always posting pictures of the most stunning dark and lovely creations. Thinking it was way too short notice but why not at least ask, I emailed her and told her the deal. “I can’t pay, but I love your work, and I need it super fast” is basically what it boiled down to.

And being the aweseomesauce that she is, she said yes. And oh my spooks did she deliver!!

It’s perfect. It’s like she crawled into my brain and took a snapshot… but then made it prettier. Everything about the art leaves me in awe. Which is why I wanted the poem with the art to have their own post; I didn’t want them bogged down with this explanation. But I also felt the need for this explanation to introduce you all to Andie and tell you how amazing she is. Definitely visit her website and check out her other incredible art. (My personal fave, besides “Jiggly-Jaggly”, of course, is “Dripping Horn”.)

So now I’d like to send you over to that post to see and read the yumminess. (And I’m closing comments here so everyone will comment on that post instead, all in one place.) I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. And be sure to click on Andie’s picture to see all the details up close!

Much love,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Mistress of the Macabre ♥

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20 Spooky Poems: Suggested Reading for the Halloween Season

Click here to skip to the list of poems.

I would say that most people probably don’t regularly read poetry, which is a shame. I certainly understand, though, that it just isn’t a priority for many people. For one thing, it seems romantic—and if you’re cynical, maybe even frivolous. Not to mention that it’s hard to know where to start. I do believe, though, that it has massive inherent value.

For the record, I always have at least one book of poems going. I usually carry a pocket-sized one in my purse. You know what’s more fun that playing the how-high-can-I-get-my-blood-pressure-in-the-checkout-line game? Discovering a fantastic new poem in the checkout line.

Recently I was at our local used bookstore with Hub-a-dub because he wanted to sell some of the DVDs we never watch. I tagged along because, as most of you know, I’m obsessed with physical books and just can’t pass up a trip to my motherland. Our bookstore has a single shelf by the counter when you first walk in where they display seasonal or recently popular titles. Immediately, a little orange-and-black beauty caught my eye.

It turns out that the book is called Poems Bewitched and Haunted (isn’t that just the best title?) and it’s a title in the Everyman’s Library Pocket Poets line, of which I have the Robert Frost edition. Wait… a Halloween-decorated horror-themed anthology of poetry in a cover that matches my existing books? Could it possibly be any more predestined? Well, yes. It turns out it cost exactly the amount the bookstore gave my husband for his DVDs. And because Hub-a-dub is ever so sweet and dreamy, of course he bought it for me.

Not to over-romanticize the issue, but I have been enjoying the hell out of it.

All this to say… I love poetry. I wish more people read it, because I truly believe it enriches our lives. Poetry is great year round, but when autumn rolls around and the air hangs chilly and lovers head indoors while children head outside… there’s something magical that invokes poetry. It might help that I have a soft spot for both horror and poetry in general, but there is nothing better than cozying up next to a fire on a cold October night and reading aloud poems that give you chills.

Seriously: poetry is meant to be read out loud. And I, being the generous lady that I am, have compiled a list of 20 of my favorite spooky poems for you to try it on. Some of them are horrifying. Some are atmospheric. Some are a little melancholy. I’ve mixed free verse and rhyme, short and long, serious and playful. (I have, by the way, only included those poems I could find online to link to, as I know asking people to go buy books in search of poems is a bit unrealistic.) My hope is that among these varied beauties you’ll find at least one or two that delight you in some special way, whatever your poetic preferences.

So grab a loved one, bundle up, turn down the overheads, light a few candles, and allow yourself to experience the power of verse in all of its Halloween glory.
.

*

Where to start? With the classics, of course.

The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe
Lamia (Left to herself)” by John Keats
Macbeth, Act IV, Scene I by William Shakespeare
Two Ghosts Converse” by Emily Dickinson
The Haunted Chamber” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Loving it? Try these lesser-known works.

The Sleeper” by Edgar Allan Poe
The Snow-Fiend” by Ann Radcliffe
Will-O’-the-wisp” by Madison Cawein
The Hexli (Little Witch)” by Johann Peter Hebel, translated by James Gates Percival
Sonnet 100” by Lord Brooke Fulke Greville
The Listeners” by Walter De La Mare

If you’ll forgive a little bit of self-promotion…

Scarcely Caged
To Walk Again
The Centipede,” Underneath the Juniper Tree, September 2011 Issue (page 74)
Dragging the Waters,” Phantom Kangaroo, Issue no. 7
Shades of Blue,” Hello Horror, Issue 3
Still, It Pulls me,” New Myths, Issue 27

Need something playful to brighten the corners before you head to bed?

Theme in Yellow” by Carl Sandburg
Little Orphant Annie” by James Whitcomb Riley
Batty” by Shel Silverstein

*

Can’t get enough? Find even more Halloween poems in this list suggested by The Academy of American Poets. Or get your hands on a copy of Poems Bewitched and Haunted.

Still not sure where to start? Comment below with your poetic preferences and I’ll try to cherry-pick one just for you.

Do you have a favorite Halloween poem? A spooky go-to that I didn’t list? Share below!

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Why Horror Should Be Its Own Genre

Hi guys!

This week I am truly honored to be hosted at my professional organization’s blog. The HWA (Horror Writers Association) is doing “Halloween Haunts” this October. Thirty-one days of stories, discussions, interviews, and book giveaways… I’m in. And today my post is up, in which I combine two of my very favorite topics—book genres and horror—in “Why Horror Should Be Its Own Genre.” Plus, as an added bonus, the HWA has included a free giveaway of Blood Lite III if you comment on the post. Very generous of them!

I’m fairly new to the HWA, but I’m absolutely passionate about horror, and the more involved I become the more impressed I am by this organization. If you write dark fiction, you should absolutely consider joining. They’re an amazing group of very talented and friendly writers.

I’m closing comments here because my hope is that you’ll stop by the comments there.

I hope you’re all having a spooktacular October!

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What the Way You Retweet Says about You

If you spend as much time on Twitter as I do (and I’m not even one of the worst/best!) you have likely become fluent in the subtleties of the strange language that is the tweet. If you’re brand new, you’re probably confused as hell. Ah, well. All in good time, young grasshopper.

I thought I’d have a little bit of fun today by putting my spin on one of those old magazine quizzes about random crap like “what your hairdo says about you.” Some of it is legit. If you’re new, you can learn the proper ways to retweet different types of content. And some of it is just good-natured teasing. For that reason, I’m only using my own tweets and retweets as examples, just in case anyone has twisty panties. 😉 (My apologies in advance to anyone named Person McGee.)

I hope you enjoy this in the spirit it was intended. Without further ado, what the way you retweet says about you:

Pushing the retweet button on:

*Something that someone else says.

You thought it was funny or clever enough to share as-is.

Something funny that someone else says in response to you.

You wanted your followers to see that you prompted such cleverness.

A compliment that someone gives you.

It made you feel so good you just had to share (as opposed to favorite).

*Someone else’s share of your content.

A) You’re lazy.

or B) They said it better than you could.

A #FF (follow Friday) list that includes you.

You’re a braggart. A clutter-causing braggart.

A “thank you for the #FF” list that includes someone else.

You’re the devil.

RT @Person_McGee Original tweet.

A) You want your face in everyone’s timeline as much as possible. (Otherwise you’d just push the retweet button.)

or B) You’re super old-school. What’s this retweet button crap?

*My answer. RT @Person_McGee Original tweet?

A) You think it’s a question others might have, and your answer might help.

or B) Your answer is funny and/or clever.

*My comment. RT @Person_McGee Original tweet.

A) You want to explain why you’re retweeting.

or B) You want to add a compliment or highlight something about the content.

My comment. RT @Person_McGee @Me Original tweet sent directly to me.

A) You’re so famous that your followers want to see all of your @ conversations.

or B) You think you’re that famous.

RT @Person_McGee Original tweet. // My thoughts.

You’re old school.

RT @Person_McGee Original tweet Mixed in with my thoughts.

A) You’re disorganized and/or ADHD.

or B) You revel in shrouding yourself in conundrum, sending your followers into fits of confusion.

My comment. RT @Person_3 Snark. @Person_2 Someone’s tweet answer. RT @Person_1 Original tweet question.

You spend too much time on Twitter.

~

*Denotes the methods that I find most preferable.

There you have it! Did I miss any? How do you retweet?

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Fifty Shades of Grey, a Discussion

This post is intended for adult readers over 18.

I don’t do book reviews, although I might be posting another blog on that topic soon. What I do do (heh) are book discussions. My favorite books to discuss? The mega-popular bestsellers that create polarizing opinions, such as Twilight. So surely y’all knew I would hit on Fifty Shades of Grey, right? (That’s right. I read them so you don’t have to. Sure.)

One of three covers you’ll see in every airport.

For those of you living under a rock, Fifty Shades of Grey is the first book in a trilogy by author E.L. James. It’s erotic romance in the BDSM sub-category, detailing the love affair and kinky sexual escapades of awkward, virginal Anastasia Steele and sexy billionaire Christian Grey.

The elephant in the room just got her period.

Okay. Right off the bat, let’s address the obvious: this book is about sex. It has lots and lots of sex, and that sex is very not-vanilla. I am constantly amazed by how many people are shocked by this. I guess they didn’t get a warning and/or don’t understand what these genre terms mean. Let’s break it down:

Erotic– As in graphic sex. And yes, the aim of erotica is to arouse the reader. If that makes you uncomfortable, this isn’t the book for you.

Romance– As in a relationship. A lot of romance novels weave in some sort of outside plot-line like the mysteries in Elizabeth Lowell’s books or the action plots in Celeste Bradley’s. Personally, I could do without these side-plots. Let’s be honest: most of us read romance—especially erotic romance—for the sex, not the murder mystery in the background. So why get upset when the romance is the plot? I don’t know. An unwillingness to admit to liking romances, maybe? Personal taste? Either way, Fifty Shades does away with everything but the central love story. If you need a plot outside of the relationship, this isn’t the book for you.

BDSM– As in an alternative sexual lifestyle between two consenting adults. Think: bossy dominants, handcuffs, whips, etc. There are many levels of BDSM, some of which many people actually practice in their sex lives without even realizing it (biting) and some of which most people would find highly disturbing (caning). This book floats somewhere in the middle.

Why are so many people scandalized (in a good or bad way) by these books? Probably because they had never read anything else in this genre. They say that’s how “housewives” (God, I hate that term) made this book popular: word of mouth about this new, racy thing. Truth: this is not a new genre at all.

Was I scandalized? No, although I do imagine that books 2 and 3 will get further into the BDSM side of things. Maybe I wasn’t shocked because before Fifty Shades came out, I was already very familiar with the later books in the Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton as well as the Loving on the Edge series by Roni Loren—both of which I loved.

The bottom line on the BDSM stuff? If the thought of a person willingly being tied to a bed horrifies you, this isn’t the book for you.

Let’s say it straight: these books started as Twi-hard fantasies.

Normally, I’m sort of a stickler for not bad-mouthing a book if you’ve never read it. That has always seemed incredibly hypocritical (and cowardly) to me. If it’s worth your time, read it and form a legitimate opinion. If it isn’t worth your time, why discuss it at all?

But Fifty Shades might be an exception. Pretty much every writer I’ve talked to about this book has one major, enormous, whopping problem: it started out as fan fiction for the Twilight series.

I genuinely haven’t made up my mind as to what I think about this aspect of the books. James changed the world they live in, their ages, professions, their personalities, and the plot. Is that really so different than a writer using a unique new genre to capitalize on someone elses’s success? (You know, those mid-list authors who pitch their books as “Someone Else esque.”) Is it morally wrong to lift an author’s characters and profit from it? I’m not sure. Does it feel sort of skeezy? Oh yeah. But it didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book. That’s something you’ll have to decide for yourself.

But is the writing any good?

I think Nathan Bransford has said it best in this post. Short answer: no, not really. It’s not horrible. I’ve certainly read worse. But my critique group could have this baby polished and tightened up in a month, and the book would be better for it. I’ll break down some of the things that stood out to me.

Negatives:

Lots of internal dialogue of the gee-golly-whiz variety. Too often, too enthusiastically, and too innocently. I got sick of reading “jeez,” “Wow!” and “Oh my.”

An inability to use the appropriate words for sexual anatomy. Most importantly, female genitalia. I.e., she says “down there” a lot. If you’re going to write R-rated stuff, embrace it. Go for the four-letter words. Hell, she can’t even say “ass” or “butt”; she uses “bottom” or “buttocks.” In the middle of a sex scene. Come on.

I will say that I agree with Nina Badzin on this: if I never hear the phrase “my inner goddess” again, I will die a happy woman. James was going for a personification of Ana’s conscience and sexual appetite, and I respect that sort of risk, but it didn’t work for me.

The ending is not truly an ending. It is very clearly the first book in a series, which I don’t like. To me, that is just lazy plotting.

Positives:

It reads very fast. I could barely put it down; finished it in three work days. To me, that sort of momentum is fun to get wrapped up in, even if the book isn’t perfect. I’ve heard more than one person say they got bored during the sex scenes, which I’m baffled by. But then again, in my teenage years I devoured cheesy romance novels like they were free pizza and I was a starving college student, so maybe I have a high tolerance for extended sex scenes.

I actually found the characters pretty charming. Ana is delightfully awkward and usually pretty straight-forward in what she’s thinking. She’s innocent, but not in a “oh no, not Mr. Big Bad Wolf” sort of way… more of a “I don’t know what’s going on, but I damn sure like it” sort of way. In other words, she knows what she wants (sex with this hottie) and she goes for it. And Christian… well, he freaks a lot of readers out. Yes, he is overbearing and stalkery (which I happen to adore in a literary love interest… Heathcliff, anyone?). But he’s also sweet, clever, and intelligent. I liked him. I loved the two of them together.

The sex is sexy. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.

There were emails back and forth throughout that I found absolutely adorable. I chuckled aloud several times. Ana and Christian had some nice wit going back and forth. They had fantastic chemistry.

Thoughts about sex as a social issue, and what writer responsibility has to do with that.

I’ve blogged about this concept before, here. I think it will be a tad easier to cover this time, since these books were never intended for teenagers. The whole “is it BDSM or sexual abuse thing” is further from the conversation, as these are both consenting adults. (And I will say, the fact that this book is inspired by Twilight does support my theory that Edward and Bella were just kinky, not in an abusive relationship. But back on track.) On the other hand, this meme:

No no no no no. That is not how it works, fellas.

just goes to show that even adults have a hard time seperating real life from fiction. So yes, some of the sexual implications in this book bother me–although they’re probably not the ones you’re thinking.

The virgin myth. Entire books have been written about this. It’s too involved to really get into here. But it’s an important issue, and Fifty Shades plays right into it. Ana is a lovely 22 year old virgin who’s never even gotten to second base or had a boyfriend. Okay, sure. There are some of those out there. But what’s the point of making this subsequently sexually explosive character one of them?

Female anatomy. Okay, beyond the fact that every sexually active human should thoroughly educate themselves with both male and female anatomy (it’s not simple, folks; do your research), it seems to me that an author writing primarily about sex should DOUBLY educate herself. Which means (as I mentioned above) not being afraid to use the right terms, as well as knowing that the hymen is outside the body. And, even better, not mentioning the hymen at all. Many modern virgins don’t even have them. Why on earth is the romance genre so obsessed with hymens?

Presenting the hero of a BDSM novel as “fucked up” emotionally—and using that as the reason he’s chosen that sexual lifestyle. I’m a little conflicted on this. On one hand, I appreciate that James gave the character depth and internal conflict. On the other hand, I think the BDSM community is stigmatized enough without her justifying his choice through abuse, etc.

Orgasms. Another topic that deserves an entire post of its own. I’ll shorthand it: too many orgasms. Too easy (she’s a virgin who’s never even masturbated). And many of them with no clitoral stimulation. Isn’t it time we stop portraying sex this way? It makes women think that’s how their bodies should work and it makes men think that’s how to get things done. Just… stop it.

The hilarity factor.

Just like sparkly vampires, Fifty Shades is an easy target. Some strange writing quirks make it easy prey. Add to that: everyone loves to make fun of something that’s popular, sex makes people uncomfortable, and this sex is non-standard and people fear what they don’t know. Yeah, it’s pretty easy to mock.

A little bit of poking fun is fine. Some naughty puns. This one of “Morgan Freeman” (comedian Josh Robert Thompson) doing a “reading” is particularly funny, in my opinion, especially taken out of context. (Warning: this is from book 2 or 3 and does contain a spoiler.) Good natured teasing, I’m all for. Blind bandwagon jumping? Not so much. At some point, you have to stop and ask yourself why you’re making fun of something.

So, is it worth a read? (Final thoughts for readers.)

This is actually a complicated question. Did I enjoy the book? Yes. I gave it four out of five stars on Goodreads. (Although, to be fair, I rate different types of books independently of some cosmic scale where all books are equal. In other words, The Giver and Twilight do not get judged by the same criteria.) I will definitely check out the sequels from my public library. Would I recommend the book to a friend? Probably not. Definitely not without some discussion first. So, dear blog reader, should you read it?

Reasons yes:
It interests you.
You want to form your own opinion.
You love the BDSM erotic romance genre.
You’re curious and open-minded.
You’re a writer who wants to learn.

Reasons no:
It doesn’t interest you.
Mediocre writing is a deal-breaker for your enjoyment.
You don’t like reading kinky or graphic sex.
You passionately hate Twilight.
You’ve already made up your mind.

Final thoughts for writers.

A lot of writers waste a lot of energy hating on and slamming books like Twilight and Fifty Shades. But in my opinion, that’s useless. What do we gain from that? Bitterness? The real questions we should be asking ourselves: why were these books so successful, and what can I learn from that?

~ * ~

So, have you read Fifty Shades of Grey? What did you think? Rants and raves alike welcome below. =)

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