Originally posted on January 31, 2011 at 7:20 PM
So maybe your mean old great aunt Georgia died, and you somehow got stuck with giving the ten-minute eulogy in the form of a poem. Or say you’re creating an online dating profile. Or maybe you don’t have enough positive attributes to fill out a job application. Or perhaps you just want to make yourself feel better through good old-fashioned denial. Well, my friend, you’ve come to the right place.
| If you’re | Say you |
| loud-mouthed | are not afraid to speak your mind |
| a bitch | stand up for yourself |
| *selfish | are goal oriented |
| greedy | appreciate the beauty in objects around you |
| an animal hoarder | are an animal lover |
| abusive | have a firm hand |
| mean | are honest |
| a zealot | have a healthy fear of god |
| lazy | are laid-back |
| a smartass | are snarky |
| indecisive | consider all of your options |
| proud | are confident |
| vain | take care of the temple which is the body |
| *bossy | are a natural-born leader |
| snooty | have great taste |
| careless | are care-free |
| insensitive | practice tough love |
| *arrogant | are proud of your achievements |
| cowardly | take caution |
| oblivious | are innocent |
| jealous | see the good in others (and want it) |
| cheap | are thrifty |
| gluttonous | love fine cuisine |
| lustful | are smoking hot |
| *stubborn | stand firm in what you believe in |
| dishonest | are clever |
| nosey | take a keen interest in those around you |
| short-tempered | are passionate |
| argumentative | love a good debate |
| *introverted | are thoughtful |
| stupid | lead a simple life |
| *oversensitive | are sensitive |
So how ‘bout it, did you think of some I left out? And do you see yourself in any of these? (Now, chances are that if you’ve gotten to the end of this list and don’t recognize yourself in at least a handful of them, you’re rather oblivi—I mean innocent. Yeah. That’s the word.)
*’s equal the worst of my sins. For the sake of not *ing them all, I limited it to 6. But feel free to asterisk as many as you’d like mentally, you meanie—I mean, er… honest person.
Share this:
