2018 in Review

Posted on January 8, 2019 by Annie Neugebauer

I’m a little later than usual with my year-end wrap-up post, because I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life, but I do want to share with you guys the highlights of my writing life for 2018. It was a busy year for me.

I revised my big, complicated, crazy WIPbeast in the spring. That was no small feat, and I’m still kind of amazed that I did it. After about half a year of my notorious pre-work, in November I drafted my next and current WIP, which is much less beastly but hopefully just as powerful in its own ways. Those two novels combined with short stories, blog posts, and the like left me with an annual word count total of 156,200 words. I also broke my daily word count personal best—twice. Thanks to a schedule shift, my friend Kelsey and I got to go on our annual writing retreat twice this year: once in the spring and a bonus in the fall. Strangely, I only wrote a couple poems all year. Considering how many barriers popped up, I’m pretty pleased with that output.

Many of those words included the columns that I continue to write for LitReactor and Writer Unboxed. I also presented a workshop for the Writers Guild of Texas, which was wonderful, because I very much enjoy continuing to share some of what I’ve learned along the way with others. And of course here on my own blog I’ve been a busy bee, sharing work, sharing milestones, sharing encouragement, hosting my biggest giveaway yet, talking, theorizing, and discussing everything from horror to remakes, and even sharing a poetry reading vlog. I also joined the Instagram Fam this year, and I hope you’ll follow me @annieneugebauer if you haven’t already.

For new publications, I had three stories in three markets and seven poems in four markets. I also had one story and one poem reprinted. I’ve just learned that one of those original stories, “Cilantro,” has been chosen for inclusion in Year’s Best Hardcore Horror Volume 4. I am thrilled to be in this great ‘best of’ for another year!

Original Fiction

Reprinted Fiction

Original Poetry

  • “Sometimes the Beauty is in the Falling” Encore 2018, The National Federation of State Poetry Societies
  • “If, Indeed” Encore 2018, The National Federation of State Poetry Societies
  • “The Mountains Do Not Call Me,” Encore 2018, The National Federation of State Poetry Societies
  • “Thirst,” HWA Poetry Showcase Volume 5, Horror Writers Association
  • “Advancement,” A Book of the Year 2018, Poetry Society of Texas
  • “Their First Kiss,” A Book of the Year 2018, Poetry Society of Texas
  • “Texas Rain,” 2019 Texas Poetry Calendar, Kallisto Gaia Press Inc.

Reprinted Poetry

Other odds, ends, and honors include participating in my first mini-podcast for Unnerving Magazine, having a story from 2017 make Ellen Datlow’s honorable mentions list for Best Horror of the Year, being personally solicited (and accepted! details coming soon!) by my first literary magazine, breaking out of ‘and many others,’ and reading about forty books throughout the year.

I’ve also received plenty of great news this year, various acceptances that will mostly (hopefully) be published in 2019. The ones I can announce so far are:

  • “White Paint” (short story), Cemetery Dance Magazine #78, Cemetery Dance Publications
  • “I Am” (short story), The Shadow Booth Vol. 3
  • “the warped barbed wire” (haiku), A Book of the Year, Poetry Society of Texas
  • “Redless” (flash fiction), The Binge-Watching Cure II, Claren Books
  • “Zanders the Magnificent” (short story reprint, podcast), Pseudopod
  • “Fit for the Wolves” (short story), Gorgon: Stories of Emergence, Pantheon Magazine
  • “Cilantro” (short story reprint), Year’s Best Hardcore Horror Volume 4, Red Room Press

There are also two more originals and another reprint coming that I can’t share the details of just yet. (Follow me on Facebook and Twitter to get the news first, or subscribe to this blog so you never miss the good stuff.)

It always feels good to sum up a year; I often find that I’ve done more than I realized, after rounding up the list. 2018 was busy, and I have a feeling 2019 will be even busier. Here’s to cramming it full of all the good stuff. I hope you’ll join me along the way. (If you have anything you’d love to see from me this year–be it here on the blog or anything writing-geared–I’d love to hear about it in the comments!)

How was your 2018? I want to hear what you’ve bee up to!

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Sometimes the Beauty is in the Falling

Posted on November 12, 2018 by Annie Neugebauer

Today I’m reprinting a poem for you. “Sometimes the Beauty is in the Falling” was first published in Encore: Prize Poems 2018 by National Federation of State Poetry Societies (along with two of my other poems). Unfortunately, when I went to take the photo below the other day (all props stolen from nature on my walk), I realized that the publication somehow left off the last line of the poem. It’s kind of any important one. 😉 So I’m re-publishing it here now, in its complete form, for you to read. The photo has the full poem in the center, and you can click to enlarge, or you can scroll below to read the text printed here. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you’re having a lovely fall!

Sometimes the Beauty is in the Falling

The plant cell doesn’t know if
leaf or petal, tree or flower.

One can spend a whole life
maintaining
until some unspoken change signals:

tree leaf, autumn, go,
and all is pushing—
splendor in death.

© Annie Neugebauer, 2018

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And the Books and the Brew and the Boo Go To…

Posted on October 31, 2018 by Annie Neugebauer

Happy Halloween!

We have WINNERS! And because I don’t believe in needless prize suspense, they are:

1st – Ile Barrionuevo (@ile.barrionuevo), for a blog comment

2nd – Ashley (@booksofthrills), for an Instagram story

3rd – Ashley B. Davis (@shleyBdavis), for a tweet

Congratulations!

Ile will be receiving her pick of books, between Tales from the Shadow Booth Volume 1 (paperback), which has my story “That Which Never Comes,” and Suspended in Dusk 2 (paperback), which has my story “Dealing in Shadows,” or an e-book edition of any of the nine books pictured below, which all also have my stories/poems in them, plus a Starbucks gift card, and a thumb drive with organizational writing docs. Ashley (booksofthrills) will get second choice of those books plus a thumb drive with docs. And Ashley Davis will get the remaining book (or her pick of e-books if the paperbacks go first) plus a thumb drive with docs. I’ll be in touch with each of you soon to get your picks and contact info!

What am I up to this holiest of holidays? Well… working. (And sick.) Ain’t it the way? But the good news is that this day is particularly fun and special work, because on this day I’m going to start drafting my next novel. That’s right, I’m getting a one-day jumpstart on NaNoWriMo for novel #8 because I’m a rebel like that. (And holy crap, my eighth novel. Wow.) So at least it will be special work.

The parties have already been had. This year I was going to dress as a ghost bride in an honest-to-pumpkin wedding dress I bought on sale for $17, but then I realized I didn’t really want to wear a full bridal gown around all night. So at the last minute I pulled together this creepy doll costume, which turned out to be pretty fun. The only thing I bought were the fake eyelashes, and the only thing I had to make was the wind-up key.

Tonight I’m going to hunker down with hubby (also sick) and have a cozy Halloween at home. We’re going to combine a few of these options I picked out for LitReactor and make it fun. Go check out my post if you still don’t have plans; Halloween on a Wednesday doesn’t have to suck! I link to all kinds of good stuff. The concept of a Halloween charcuterie board might have changed my life. Maybe. We’re also roasting pumpkin seeds for the first time, watching something scary, and hopefully handing out candy to little monsters if the rain doesn’t scare them away. And, of course, there will be Poe.

Thank you to everyone who entered my giveaway this year, and to everyone who shared it to help spread the word. I really appreciate each and every one of you, and if I could afford to gift you all a spooky book I would. ♥ If you didn’t win and really wanted one of those prize books, don’t forget that you can order yourself a copy anytime. All of the links to all of my work are always on this page; many things are accessible for free.

Whatever book (or movie or show or pet or people) you’re cuddled up with tonight, I hope it’s a good one. Happy Halloween, my friends. Stay spooky.Share this:

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Does The End Define Horror?

Posted on October 23, 2018 by Annie Neugebauer

Do horror stories have to have happy or tragic endings to “count” as horror? Is a positive or negative ending more effective across the board? Is there room for taste in this question?

Several years ago I came across the YouTube video “Why Horror Is Good for Us” by T. Michael Martin, and I’ve had it saved in my “ideas” file for blog posts ever since. There’s so much to love about this video. It’s only two minutes long; I highly recommend watching it. I think my favorite quote from it is, “Horror is the genre of non-denial.” Martin argues that the best horror is that in which good ultimately triumphs—a concept he calls dark transcendence. He talks about how being dragged through the dark heightens the redemptive endings. I agree with much of what Martin has to say here, but I never blogged about it because I couldn’t articulate the parts that I didn’t quite agree with.

Today I came across this post in ‘The H Word’ column in Nightmare Magazine: “The Politics of Horror” by Paul Tremblay, and it felt like the missing half of that long-ago saved video. Despite the title, Tremblay only skirts politics in this post, and instead focuses on an equally interesting concept: the endings of scary stories. But in this take, we’re presented with an opposite opinion: “The horror story that ultimately ends with a triumphant return of the status quo isn’t doing its job.” Again, there’s much here I absolutely love and agree with, but also some I can’t entirely agree with.

What “counts” in any genre is a topic that comes up a lot, so much so that it’s one of the very first things I address in my Horror Genre infographic for LitReactor. (And I hammer home right away that taste and value judgements have nothing to do with defining genre.) To be fair to both creators linked to above, neither of them claims definition—only taste. Martin doesn’t claim that dark endings don’t count as horror, only that when scary stories aren’t redemptive the “critics kind of have a point.” And Tremblay says, “This isn’t to say every horror story must have a downbeat/bummer ending to be successful. But it should have an ending that’s honest to its horror, honest to the transgression committed within the story.” So I appreciate that they each tip their hat to the existence of the other side.

Yet, they both make excellent points and come down strong about which stories—which endings to horror stories—hold the most inherent value. And of course, they land on polar opposite sides.

What do I think? I think they’re both right, because they’re really both talking about their own taste, and you can’t argue with taste. If Martin is in it for the uplift—for the power created in stories where good triumphs over literal evil—then of course he prefers transcendence. And if Tremblay is in it for the scary impression—for the lingering fear created by an ending where everything is definitely not okay—then of course he prefers subversion. So neither is wrong, only opinionated. 😉

Of course, I have opinions of my own. To be honest, I love both types of endings. For me personally, an uplifting ending doesn’t automatically negate the fear in the rest of the story. When done well, these stories can be incredibly powerful. I will agree, however, that it’s harder to pull off a redemptive ending and maintain the fear—harder but not impossible. But I don’t need a happily ever after, either. I’m fine with walking away from a story scared instead of uplifted, if it’s done well. Often I prefer it.

I judge endings on a case-by-case basis, in reading, watching, and in writing. How effective each type is depends entirely on intent and execution. And although not nearly as popular, I’m also a big fan of the blurry middle ground, where some redemption has been had but much darkness still looms and lingers, reminding us that although this character may have gotten away safe, we might not.

So does the ending define horror? Absolutely not. I’ll argue that point until I’m blue in the face. (Some very famous folks have made the claim, but fame doesn’t preclude rightness, eh?) Does the ending change the nature of a story? Sometimes. Maybe not as often as we think, which is a point Tremblay brings up in his example endings. (Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the technical endings of half the horror stories I love. Hmmm… it’s almost like the ending isn’t the most important part.) Does the ending land differently for different readers? Absolutely. That’s at the heart of why we each love our own favorite books, isn’t it? Everyone wants different things from story, and every story will disappoint or satisfy accordingly.

So how about you? Are you a proponent of dark transcendence, like Martin? Do you find dark progression more effective, like Tremblay? Or are you a case-by-case consumer, like me?

Guess what? I have one final update for #BooksBrewBoo! I’ve accepted a super sweet offer to partner with USB Memory Direct for some promotional goodies—these amazing custom thumb drives!

I’m really excited to get these little beauties. So excited that I’m going to load three of them with The Organized Writer docs and freebies and add them to the prizes! Any writers who win one of the three giveaway prizes will also have the option to receive one of these. It’ll include the Writing Income and Expense Tracking Spreadsheet, which normally costs $9 and is a super handy financial tool for writers. Score!

And as if this expanded prize package wasn’t enough—we’re up to three winners for a total of two paperbacks, one ebook, a Starbucks gift card, and three thumb drives pre-loaded with the spreadsheet—if you want a chance to win some of your own cool custom thumb drives you can head on over to USB Memory Direct’s October spook-tacular giveaway for an Halloween-inspired gift box featuring a 32 GB Ubie Ninja flash drive and plenty of treats (and maybe a few tricks, too). They’re also giving five lucky winners a 64 GB drive as a special treat, so be sure to enter before it’s too late!

This blog post right here is the last one of this month that are eligible for #BooksBrewBoo entries; just leave a comment below to be entered. And to up your chances, leave comments on my past three blogs too:

And to really up your chances, share the giveaway on Twitter, Facebook, and/or Instagram using the hashtag #BooksBrewBoo and tagging me so I see it. You can enter a total of 13 times!

Best of luck, my spooky friends. The winners will be announced on Halloween, which is just around the corner!Share this:

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Remakes, Re-reads, Re-watches, and the Power of Ritual

Posted on October 15, 2018 by Annie Neugebauer

Remakes are coming. Still. More. Lots of them. The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix, Pet Sematary, It Chapter 2, and Halloween to the big screen. The excitement. The outcries.

And here I am not caring a whole lot either way, but re-reading ‘Salem’s Lot for the first time since it seared itself into my psyche when I was a young teenager. (I’ll probably see two of the four listed above; wanna guess which two?)

Re-watching movies is so ubiquitous that we don’t actually call it re-watching—just watching. “I’m going to watch Hocus Pocus today.” Whereas we usually say re-reading when we’ve already read the book. (See above.) That’s pretty interesting to me, the cultural medium difference between books and screens.

But, really, why do we re-consume books, shows, and movies at all? We already know what’s going to happen, right?

My theory is that we don’t actually read or watch stories because we want to know what happens. Maybe a little, maybe that first time, but mostly we consume story because it makes us feel things. Wonder, fear, love, longing, excitement, dread, joy. It entertains us, but the really good ones, the stories we come back to over and over again, make us feel.

That’s why I re-read books, at least, or watch a movie I’ve already seen. I don’t remember exactly what happens or how it’s said or what it looks like—not all of it—but I do remember exactly how it made me feel. I don’t remember the character names in ‘Salem’s Lot or quite how the protagonist ends up, but I do remember staying awake one night afraid to turn off my lamp because the passage about the little boy walking past the abandoned church had reached something deep, deep in my fear and lit me up. So when I want to be scared, why not reach for the book I already know scares me?

Some of my favorite re-reads.

Stories and their specifics are easily forgotten, but the feelings they cause often linger. So re-reading or re-watching is almost a cheat; we get to enjoy the story pre-vetted by someone with our exact tastes (us). We know we’ll like it. And we get to experience those feelings all over again, often as fresh as the first time even after the story itself grows stale.

I think this is why so many people are anti-remake. Remakes do the opposite of what we seek by re-watching; they retain the plot while changing the feelings. But it was never the plot we cared about, only how that rendition of it made us feel. Plots are easy to copy; feelings are hard to reproduce. That’s why so many remakes are unsuccessful to original fans. The ones that do pull it off usually do so not by recreating that perfect feeling, but by creating a totally new one that also appeals, or by creating the same feeling in a totally different way.

That’s why It didn’t work for me, and why re-reading ‘Salem’s Lot is just as thrilling now as it was when I was a kid.

So where does that put those stories we come to over and over and over? How about the people who watch The Nightmare Before Christmas every single October? How about how I’ve read my copies of the Anita Blake books so many times the spines are turning white? When does the re-watch or re-read become ritual?

I think it comes down to which stories are strong enough to gain power vs. which simply wear down with revisiting. Perhaps a story is good, and makes you feel a way you enjoy, and you read or watch it again. Does it still make you feel that way? You try it again. If, over time, the feeling lessens, it becomes not a ritual but a thing you’ve worn out—a perfume bottle you’ve emptied, with only whiffs of the original stuff left. But if it retains the intensity each time, or perhaps even deepens with more understanding of the work, it becomes ritual. It grows stronger with repetition, and so that repetition becomes valuable in and of itself.

That’s my theory anyway. As I re-read ‘Salem’s Lot I’m not just reminiscing; I’m feeling again what I felt then, but stronger, more complicated, more developed. I’m appreciating the book even more, because my experiences since that first read have only deepened my ability to react to this particular story. I can’t say the story itself doesn’t matter, because obviously it’s the catalyst that makes us feel the way we feel, but it isn’t the story itself that draws me back; it’s the way that story makes me feel. Thrilled and dreadfully nervous and scared and wide awake.

Speaking of stories that keep you up at night, have you entered my giveaway yet? #BooksBrewBoo is going on through October 30, and the prizes include two very creepy books and a Starbucks giftcard—at least. In fact, if we get even 10 more entries, I’m going to add a third winner. And there might be a few surprises around the corner. 😉 You want warm sweet treats and spooky story tricks, yes?

Good! To enter, you can comment on any and all of my blogs this month (including this one, Celebrating National Dark Poetry Day with Light and Liquor, and Books Brew Boo 2 so far, with a fourth to come next week), or share the giveaway (or any of my work) on Twitter, Facebook, and/or Instagram. The full rules are here, but basically: tag me and include the hashtag. You can enter up to 13 times total! The more you enter, the better your shot at winning. And the more people enter, the more prizes I’ll include, so please help me spread the word! I’m dying to share my creepy books with you. ♥

What are your favorite go-to books, shows, and movies for re-consumption? Why (and when) do you re-visit them? And when do you think it crosses the line into ritual?Share this:

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