the down-low on the nose-blow (the issues with the tissues)

Posted on September 22, 2011 by Annie Neugebauer

Originally posted on August 6, 2010 at 2:15 AM

Every opinion I’ve ever had about tissues. Why? Because I can.

Whether you call them the generic “tissues,” the British “paper handkerchiefs,” or apply the brand name “Kleenex” to all forms of the product, everyone has to have something to blow their nose with. And since handkerchiefs for actual use went out of vogue, oh, I don’t know, say 100 years ago (the Kleenex was actually invented in 1924), disposable paper facial tissues seem like a topic everyone can relate to.

First of all, no one likes those lotion ones. They feel slimy, and although they may do the job for your nose, they also spread that grease all over your surrounding facial area. Not to mention that tissues can be used for so many thing besides blowing your nose, most of which don’t require lotion. Ever tried to clean your glasses off with a lotioned tissue? It’s so much easier to just use a regular tissue and then dab a bit of lotion or Vaseline on after.

Instead of popping big bucks on expensive “soothing” tissues, I prefer the generic brands. I have allergies, so I blow my nose often, and I really don’t need extra-plush tissues to do so. The two-ply kind still have to be folded over (no matter what the commercial says), so you might as well get the thinner ones that cost a lot less.

I also like to use them on lots of other things, like a quick sink wipe-down (which leads to less frequent cleaning and less chemicals used), minor spills (where a whole paper-towel would be wasteful), makeup, etc. So buying cheaper and using them in place of more expensive paper towels is a good way to go. My favorites? “Great Value,” the generic by Walmart, has some really simple designs out right now that I like. (Yes, yes, Walmart’s evil; I know. Put it in a letter.) The only time I splurge on tissues? To get the super cute holiday boxes.

As for reusing tissues… if that reusing is for anything bodily, I’d say no way. Gross! That’s like begging for bacteria to cultivate. (Not to mention housemates to gag.) The only time you shouldn’t just trash a used tissue is if it’s been used on something non-perishable to later be used on something else non-perishable. And even then, they’re like 1.08 a box; just toss it.

Here’s something: tissue box covers. I usually think they’re unnecessary unless your room design is “fancy” enough that a box of tissues ruins the effect. In which case, I have one suggestion: think about the top surface of your cover before you buy it (and your matching bathroom set). We got this super cute cover from Bed Bath & Beyond, and although I think it’s perfect for the room it’s in, the black top is silly. When you pull a tissue out of the holder, it leaves behind hundreds of tiny pieces of tissue-dust. White dust. That land on that black surface. It will never be clean. I actually think it was worth it, but other people might not. Food for thought.

Want some creative ways to use tissues? How about a Tootsie Roll ghost?
A cute carnation for a baby or bridal shower?

Not into crafts quite that disposable? Check out this adorable idea for a tissue box photo album. I’ve even cut out sections of really pretty tissue boxes and framed them as impromptu art for staging a home!

Once you get started, the possibilities are endless! I promise I’m not in cahoots with any of the major tissue companies *yet.* I wish you all few tears and happy nose-blowing!

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Nine Tips For Filling a Home

Posted on September 22, 2011 by Annie Neugebauer

Originally posted on August 17, 2010 at 7:05 PM

First time homebuyer? New apartment? Wanting to redecorate? Anyone who wants
to eventually fill or refill their home has to decide when/where to spend the
bucks. Here are some tips I’ve picked up so far:

1.) Mix the cheap & thrifty in with the high quality &
expensive to fool the eye into assuming everything is high-end. I
mean, if you’re that rich, go ahead and buy whatever you want for every piece
of furniture in your house… but most of us aren’t. My philosophy? Allow
yourself to buy one “love it” piece per room—one splurge that isn’t necessary
but that you absolutely adore—and fill the rest with “compromises.” (Bonus:
make that piece one that you can take with you if you move, i.e., not the
flooring.)

 

2.) For the big pieces, go neutral (sofas, large desks,
tables, countertops). This will give you use of your most costly items for
years and years. That orange sofa might look cool now, but trust me, you’ll be
sick of it in 5-10 years. Go for a gray, beige, brown, or soft green and toss
some bright orange pillows on it instead. Or opt for the orange ottoman!

 

3.) If you can afford it, choose quality on pieces you have to touch.
Bedding, towels, cabinet hardware, and your office chair are worth a few extra
dollars if they’re pleasant to use. But the side tables, material of your cabinets,
accessories, and light fixtures you generally leave alone, so you can skimp and
never miss a beat.

 

4.) Don’t buy black furniture unless you love to dust.

 

5.) Don’t pay for headboards! Upholstered headboards are
super easy to make and cost about $50 as opposed to $300, and they can be
adjusted to suit any style room. (Just google “how to make an upholstered
headboard.) Bonus? You can lean back to read in bed! Don’t have $50 to drop on
a headboard? Buy a piece of fabric/poster/paint you love, hang it over the bed,
and trim it out with small molding from a hardware store for less than $10 if
you play your cards right.

 

6.) Don’t throw it out yet! Have a piece you’re sick of?
Before you toss it, consider giving it a crazy re-vamp. A fresh coat of
brightly-colored paint can make an old piece seem new and fun again. Plus,
painted furniture balances solid wood-tones for a more interesting roomscape.
This even works for odd objects such as ugly vases or statuettes you don’t
like. Even strange shapes, when painted in a solid, modern color, can create a
bold contemporary statement. Or paint several pieces all white for a country-
or beach- style room.

 

7.) When in doubt: throw it out! In general, we all have
too much clutter in all of our rooms. If you’ve looked at a piece, can’t think
of a way to fix it, and hate it… give it away for someone else to use. Clutter
in the home is clutter on the spirit.

 

8.) Buy expensive materials for small projects. A good
example of this is using granite on a small bathroom countertop. Although
granite is high-end and brings in the big bucks when it comes time to sell, if
you have a 30 inch counter and buy pre-fab, you can cover it for as little as
$150! This is worth it as buyers and viewers appraise it much higher in their
heads.

 

9.) Buy cheap materials for large projects. A good example
of this is using laminate instead of granite on a large kitchen countertop.
Covering an average kitchen in granite could cost upwards of $2,500 easy. If
you choose laminate look-alike instead, you can cover those counters, get a
backsplash installed, and buy a new sink and faucets ALL for less than that.
Remember, you’d still have to buy those things with the granite, too.

 

Of course, none of these rules are rigid. If you can afford granite in the
kitchen and live in a nice neighborhood, the pay-off will likely be worth it.
But overall, these are the things I would suggest to any person who is working
on filling a current or future home one piece at a time. Best of luck!

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Shades of Gray Revisited

Posted on September 22, 2011 by Annie Neugebauer

Originally posted on August 13, 2010 at 3:08 PM

Several people have emailed me, etc., about my most recent blog about depression. Their obvious concern, commiseration, and suggestions have made me realize two things: 1) I’m glad I blog about depression and 2) that post may have come off as heavier than I intended it to. Allow me to explain.

1.

As with any personal problem, there is a stigma surrounding depression. People are embarrassed to admit they struggle with it, and other people feel uncomfortable when hearing about it. This is a normal part of our society, but also unnecessary and potentially harmful. If shame prevents a single person from seeking the help they need to be healthy, well, then shame on the shamers is what I say. And in a small way, on a small scale, I feel like I can begin to change this, or begin to help other people who feel like I feel. It is a very real disease with sometimes fatal consequences. If you need help, for love’s sake, get help.

2.

That being said, my depression isn’t dangerous to anything but my moods about 90% of the time. I can remember a very small number of times that my depression affected my life to the point that I couldn’t push through it to do things I would normally have done. I am lucky enough to have never once been suicidal. Or even considered killing myself. It isn’t even a possibility for me, so your mind may rest easy there.

Now, does this make my depression less “severe” than other people’s? I don’t know, and I don’t really care. It feels severe enough to me. On the other hand, I have sought help, and was able to find a cognitive exercise that changed my life. I know how to self-treat when I want to. I don’t always want to. I embrace the darkness of life more than anyone else I know, and part of that is allowing myself to feel the pain. Feel the sadness. Emotions can’t break you; all they can do is change you. And the artist in me likes that, so sometimes I let it ride.

When I described how every negative feels like depression for me now, I wasn’t clear enough about one thing: it feels like depression (and maybe is), but it doesn’t last like depression. If I got truly, long-term depressed every time I felt sad I would always be depressed, and that certainly isn’t the case. I’m happy a lot these days. Depression isn’t even upsetting to me anymore. It’s like an old friend, and when I get tired of it, I ask nicely and it’ll usually leave without too much trouble.

So thank you, to those of you who messaged me about one aspect or another, for caring. And for those of you who struggle, I wish you the best in finding your medium. And to all, happy Friday the 13th.

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Shades of Gray

Posted on September 22, 2011 by Annie Neugebauer

Originally posted on August 11, 2010 at 2:20 PM

Where does one emotion end and the next begin? Is it always shades of gray?

I’ve always battled with depression. Depression with a capital D, actually, as in Clinical Depression and not the over-used sentiment, “I feel depressed.” Depression is known to be at least partially genetic, and that holds true for me. Still, I can’t help but wonder: would I have ever gotten depressed if such horrible, tragic things hadn’t happened to me? There’s a difference between being sad because something sad happens and just always being depressed… isn’t there?

At some point, if sad things continuously happen for an extended period of time, I would have to say no. Because sadness is like a fraction of depression, as is tiredness, and if you’re exposed to that emotion for a long enough time, the brain gets used to it. The neuropathways literally get more worn for sadness than for other emotions, making it difficult if not impossible to “climb” out of those deep grooves. Genetics certainly effect depression, but it seems to me that so does life. If really sad things keep happening to a person, it would be inhuman not to be really sad about it.

The problem though, is that once a person has been severely, clinically depressed for a length of time (the length is part of what differentiates depression from grief, or sorrow), the brain can never undo the effects of that. Those grooves are worn deep, and no amount of happy living can build them back up. What this means for me is that when I get sad, I get depressed. Not the light sense of it that people toss around, which just means, “I’m currently sad and tired.” No, somehow it’s different, isn’t it? Depression is familiar, and my mind goes to it like an old friend when any related emotions pop up. Grief? Depression. Sadness? Depression. Tiredness? Depression.

So when I say, “I feel depressed,” I don’t toss the phrase around like many people do when what they really mean is they feel sad, or they are grieving. For me, it is one in the same. All shades of sad have blended to one color: dark, gray, Depression.

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In Case of Fire

Posted on September 22, 2011 by Annie Neugebauer

Originally posted on August 8, 2010 at 1:22 PM

It was sometime in the afternoon when it started to storm. It wasn’t raining, but clouds blew in and the wind picked up. Hub-a-dub and I were both sitting in the office at our laptops talking about finances when lightning/thunder (They’re the same thing, you know. They only seem different because usually it’s far enough away so that you hear and see it at different times. That day they were so near that I was forced to remember that they were one.) struck so close to our window that I screamed—one quick, girly sound before I could contain my shock. Then something in our house beeped. It sounded like the security system or smoke detector, and I initially assumed we’d lost power. But our lights were still on, so we kind of looked around and shrugged. Kyle said he thought it struck on the other side of our back fence. I thought it was between the office and the big tree.

About 10-15 minutes later, I heard the fire truck siren, but ignored it like I always do. I don’t mean to sound uncaring or jaded, but no one can have sympathy for every tragedy; you’d burn out and be unable to care for anything. It’s part of why I don’t watch the news. But soon Kyle looked outside and our entire block was filled with fire trucks, ambulances, cop cars, and the works. Our next-door neighbors’ house was struck; they weren’t grounded; the house caught fire. Their entire attic was on fire, smoke billowing out literally feet from our house. Not immediately knowing the damage and extent and danger, Kyle said, “We need to be ready to leave. I’m going to go talk to someone; you get ready to go.”

There are very few times that I feel words unable to serve me. That moment, that feeling, is one of them. I move fast in emergencies, and within probably 2 minutes I had put on shoes and my UT class ring (I was wearing my wedding ring) and gathered Buttons’ carrying crate and my zip drive with all of my writing on it. Then I was standing there in the middle of the house thinking, “What else? What else do I need to save?” I’ve thought about this scenario before, believe me, and made a mental list of things I would grab first. But in that moment, with my life’s work and my cat and my main memento of school and Dad safe, I couldn’t think of a damn thing.

“Value,” I muttered, “What has value?” but the word value made me think of money/expense, not emotional meaning, and my mind supplied the incredibly expensive business suit that I use for job interviews and stuff. Then I thought, “No, insurance will pay for that,” since I never really liked it anyway (it was the only professional suit I could find in my size). But what? What should I get? What should I save if everything goes up in flames?

Luckily, I didn’t have to think about it beyond that point, because Kyle came back in and said we were okay. They already had hoses in the house and there was no danger of it spreading to us. No one was hurt. At that point, we both went outside to watch, just like all the other neighbors did. We’ve never been overly outgoing people, especially as homeowners, and we don’t really know those neighbors. I would have liked to have gone up to them and told them I was sorry, offered a hug, and asked if they had renters insurance, but neither of us could do it. I hope they know my heart was with them and that we weren’t just out there to gawk. It was heartbreaking to think of all the things they probably lost.

As we stood out there in the light rain—the kind of rain so scattered that you feel like you could stand in it for hours and still not actually get wet—and watched the firemen work, random items kept coming to mind that I could have saved. My stack of scrapbooks. The box full of all my Dad’s mementos (because he’s dead and I couldn’t replace them). My wedding dress. Our laptops. Our insurance documents to make it easier to call. Some clothes to live off of. Because it all gets destroyed, you know. Even the things that don’t get burned are ruined from smoke and water from the fire hoses. Even now, two days later, that poor family has the guts of their home spread across their lawn and I keep thinking of things I should save if this ever really happens to us. We’re grounded, so it wouldn’t be lightning, and we have smoke detectors connected to our security company, so help would come fast, but something like this doesn’t just go away. You can’t “tune out” tragedies that are literally next door. It’s like a new handful of sorrow and worry in the back of my mind. What would I save from a fire?

What would you save?

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