A Perfect Holiday Lighting Guidebook That All Must Follow or be Doomed

Originally posted on December 3, 2010 at 3:00 PM

 

November 1st – Thanksgiving = lights can go up but cannot be on

It is not Christmas yet. If you must decorate early because of scheduling, anal-retentiveness, or general overabundance of spirit: at least refrain from turning the lights on. It’s not fair to Thanksgiving if Christmas steals its thunder.

“Black Friday” – New Year’s Eve = lights can be on

Thanksgiving is over; Christmas has officially begun. Feel free to deck the halls and cheer the street.

New Year’s Day – January 31st = lights can be up but cannot be on

I actually think the lights should go off the day after Christmas, but some people like to leave them up for New Year’s parties, so I’m being lenient. I understand procrastination, but at least take your lights off the timer/unplug them. That’s not hard at all. Seriously.

February 1st – November 1st = lights cannot be up

I will personally hunt you down.

*Now, you might be wondering, “But… who makes these rules?” Clearly, I do. Happy – and technically correct timing for your – holidays!

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Support Local Poetry

Originally posted on November 22, 2010 at 2:20 PM

The Denton Poets’ Assembly just celebrated 5 years! Yay! Happy anniversary, DPA!

I must say, I’m not one for mushy stuff. But when I moved from Austin to Denton to live with hub-a-dub, I hated it. I love hub-a-dub, but I hated Denton with a passion. When people would say conversational things like, “So, how are you liking it here so far?” I felt like reaching out and strangling them with my bare hands as I stomped on their feet and spit on the ground shouting, “I HATE IT HERE, DAMN IT. CURSES TO YOU ALL!” Okay, so maybe that’s a bit much, but I would shrug and say, “I’m still getting used to it.” Truth was, I didn’t think I’d ever be ‘used to it.’

That is, until I stumbled upon the Denton Poets’ Assembly. From the first time I went three years ago, I knew it was a group I wanted to be a part of. No matter that I was about 35 years younger than the average age or that my poetry was about vastly different things than most, they welcomed me with true enthusiasm and acceptance. It was going to that meeting each month that first made me feel like there was something in this town for me – that I might someday want to call this home.

Not only that, but it was DPA who encouraged me to start submitting my work to contests and publications. It was J. Paul Holcomb, the group’s mentor, who inspired me to start learning and writing in traditional poetic forms in any real way. It was a few special ladies who invited me into their small critique group and encouraged my confidence and pursuit of this passion I have. I count all of the members of DPA among my friends, and several of them among my closest. Thank you, Denton Poets’ Assembly, for all you’ve done for me. How ever did I get so lucky?

So it’s with true enthusiasm that I tell you all now about our newest fundraiser, which is easier and cooler than any fundraiser I’ve ever heard of. You shop on Amazon.com, yes? You plan on buying Christmas gifts there this year, yes? Well, perhaps you could add one extra click to that process. If you first go through our website and click to Amazon that way (just click the banner at the top of the page), between 4 and 15% of what you buy during that shopping trip will go to our organization. That money supports cool things like the Merging Visions Exhibit we participate in each year. Gift cards, books, home wares, DVDs, etc. all count, and once you click on our link it’s just like shopping on Amazon regularly, no extra cost to you. That’s it, seriously – no extra work. One click. We’d be much obliged.

This blog has been long enough, so I’ll bid you all farewell, good poetry, and happy shopping. (Tell your friends!)

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Vampires and Zombies, part I: introduction

Originally posted on December 15, 2010 at 4:25 PM

Vampires and zombies! Ah, the age-old debate.

I’m going to go ahead and say now that I’m not an expert… more like a well-educated fanatic. I know more about vampires than zombies, and won’t try to hide that I favor vampires over zombies – although I absolutely adore both. I’ve written college essays over vampires. I’ve done in depth research about both, from pre-written folkloric history of the myths to contemporary literature and movies. So I can’t pretend to know it all, but I will say that I know a lot. In fact, I think I know too much to be contained in one blog. Instead, I’ll make a little mini-series about it. How does that sound? (Before you scaredy-cats go running, trust me when I say that even if you don’t enjoy watching/reading zombie/vampire literature and movies, there is still a lot to learn from the myths and what they’re saying.)

To start with, let’s talk about the fact that the distinctions between vampires, zombies, ghosts, ghouls, and revenants weren’t always so clear-cut. In general, in the times of spoken legend and myth, there were “monsters.” Any and all living come back as the dead were terrifying, believed to be real, and sort of all the same. Ghosts, vampires, and zombies all tended to come back for loved ones to torture them and perhaps take a sip or a nibble. In fact, vampires used to not only drink blood, but eat flesh. What differentiates that from a zombie? Well, before the pop culture concept of zombies being virus-caused, which I’ll get into later: nothing.

Now, ghosts didn’t necessarily have corporeal bodies, but they could be seen to have bodies, even if they couldn’t touch. And truly, they could touch, according to some beliefs. Ghosts could inflict bodily harm just as a vampire or ghoul could. In fact, ghosts sometimes visited in people’s dreams to drain the life from them, much like our modern concept of the incubus and succubus (vampires). Again: blurry lines.

The Haitian zombie, also known as the Voodoo zombie, and the West African zombie, also known as the Vodun zombie, were thought to be brought back to life by evil magic. This is not at all unlike the Romanian and Romani vampire, which were thought to be brought to back by the dead having caused some evil crime during life. Both were thought to crawl out of their graves at night. Both were thought to feast on the living. Different cultures, such as the ones listed above, have become stereotypes or prototypes for the ancient versions of these myths, but they are by no means the only sources or the only versions. And when one removes the cultural distinguishers such as the type of religion, the race of the dead, the type of evil/magic, and the setting… well, the very first zombies and vampires become pretty much interchangeable, don’t they?

In Sex and Death in Victorian Literature, Regina Barreca states that “[a]s revenants, the once-living returned, vampires and ghosts were originally scarcely distinguishable. The first use of vampire the Oxford English Dictionary records, in 1734, defines them as ‘evil spirits’ who animate the ‘Bodies of deceased persons.’ Only gradually did vampires lose their identification with the human world to acquire the menace of a separate species.”

Next up in the discussion: the separation and popularization of both myths. Until then, interested in further reading? There’s always Wikipedia, but here are a few of my faves (some to learn from and some to disagree with):

• Auerbach, Nina. Our Vampires, Ourselves. Chicago: The University of Chicago P, 1995.
• Barreca, Regina. Sex and Death in Victorian Literature. Ed. Regina Barreca. London: The Macmillan P Ltd, 1990.
• Gilbert, Sandra M., and Susan Gubar. The Madwoman in the Attic: The Woman Writer and the Nineteenth-Century Literary Imagination. New Haven: Yale UP, 1984.
• Twitchell, James B. The Living Dead: A Study of the Vampire in Romantic Literature. Durham: Duke University P, 1981.
• Williams, Anne. The Art of Darkness: A Poetics of Gothic. Chicago: The University of Chicago P, 1995.

Be sure to check out the other posts in the series:

Vampires and Zombies, part II: the popularization of vampires (in western culture)

Vampires and Zombies, part III: the popularization of zombies (in western culture)

Vampires and Zombies, part IV: compare and contrast

Vampires and Zombies, part V: surviving the living dead

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More

Originally posted on November 8, 2010 at 5:55 PM

Perhaps my blog yesterday came off wrong. First and foremost, I’d like to clarify: I love blogging, and even though it’s a lot of work, I enjoy maintaining my website. I would do these things no matter what, I believe, so don’t think I have any illusions of grandeur. My main point of yesterday’s blog was venting frustration with the industry, their expectations, and the overflow of advice. I feel like I’m in a rat race.

There are sometimes things that my writership fails to illuminate for me – certain feelings and thoughts that words can’t quite shed light on. Nonetheless, I will try, because that’s what I do.

I feel something that is all but none of these things: discontent, restlessness, ambition, hopelessness, hope, eagerness, longing, aching, sorrow.

The closest thing I can think of to this emotion is when I was in high school my senior year. Senior year was really hard for me. I was captain of our dance team of about fifty girls, and I’d sort of overthrown the system and caused a lot of upset from the people who expected what they expected. (Too cryptic? Ah, delicacy.) I had broken up with my boyfriend of a year and a half, was going through a rough patch with future-hubby-to-be, still struggling with my parent’s divorce and my dad’s alcoholism, and beginning to lose my best friends to Life. I wanted out.

I knew, I just knew that I wanted to go to college out of state. Screw the costs, the homesickness, the starting over. I wanted out of Texas, my life, my unrest. I wanted more. That’s the best way I can say it. I wanted more.

(That ended up not happening, I think for the better.) But the thing is, I’ve always felt this way. I’ve always felt a sort of disquietude in the background. Usually it is soft and pliable, but at times – unprovoked by any real reasons, as far as I can see – it flares up and leaves me anxious, antsy, dissatisfied. I crave something I can’t understand or explain, and I don’t know how to get it. And I know some of you have gone there in your heads, so I’ll go ahead and say no, it’s not sexual. I’m satisfied in that department, thankyouverymuch. It’s something else. It’s almost like I’m waiting for magic. I just want more.

I’m feeling that now, that almost magical longing for something mysterious that never seems to come, and perhaps I’m taking it out on my career choice right now, because I don’t know how else to let it out. I have no reason to be dissatisfied. I have the happiest marriage I know of, a pet I adore, a beautiful house that’s all ours, a career I’m passionate about, and for that matter, a decent amount of success for my level in that career so far. And besides all that, the feeling isn’t simple ambition. So why do I feel this way? Why have I always felt this way? Why do I always want more?

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Listy McListersons

Originally posted on November 10, 2010 at 10:35 PM

It’s a wide-open future out there, with a lot of options. For those of you who are curious, I thought I’d break down my interests and non-interests. (Note: things I write may have elements of the list of “no” genres, but wouldn’t be classified as such.) And… I’m well aware that time changes things. I remember SWEARING to my mom when I was little that I would NEVER EVER be interested in gardening, but I’ve done quite a bit of it by now. So we’ll see. But here’s how I see it now, for all of 30 genres.

Genres I have written/would like to write some day:

• horror
• literary fiction
• gothic
• children’s lit
• poetry
• erotica
• humor
• urban fantasy (our world with a twist, a la LKH or Kim Harrison)
• women’s fiction
• slipstream
• bloggity-blog-blogging

Genres I can’t see myself ever writing:

• memoir
• sci-fi
• the “Tolkien” type of fantasy (more elves and dragons… I’m very picky about my fantasy)
• romance
• journalism
• chick lit
• crime fiction (neither detective nor true crime)
• mystery
• thriller/suspense
• steampunk/cyberpunk
• action/adventure

Genres still up for persuasion:

• select types of nonfiction
• historical fiction
• young adult
• literary criticism
• mainstream
• western
• autobiography
• scholarly essays

Aren’t quite sure what some of these are? (Hey, even industry profs can have trouble keeping up these days.) This website is rather useful, and there’s always Wikipedia!

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