“My vampires are nothing like Edward Cullen” And Other Unnecessary Disclaimers

Originally posted on Monday, ‎May ‎30, ‎2011, ‏‎2:10:00 PM

Okay, writers, readers, and media-mongers, listen up. I’m only going to say this once, because I’m tired of hearing it. I’m tired of thinking it. I’m tired of hearing other people say they’re tired of thinking it. So this is once and for all, a general, blanket-statement for all authors who would like to be included:

I write _____ (fill in the blank: horror, urban fantasy, paranormal romance, YA… ), but my _________ (vampires, werewolves, love story, characters… ) are nothing like _________ (Stephanie Meyer’s, JK Rowling’s, Carrie Ryan’s, Stephen King’s, Charlain Harris’s… ).

I am a horror writer. I used to answer the question “So what do you write?” with some degree of discomfort, knowing certain books and stereotypes I would instantly be associated with. But the truth is, I think any commercial genre faces this, and we all have to screw up our courage and own what we write. We love it, other people do too, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I think all of this instant disclaimer business is unnecessary embarrassment. It’s not about one genre or another; it’s about self-esteem and taking pride in what you write. Write about people being hacked apart by a circular saw? Own it. Write about sexy vampires seducing virgins? Own it. Write highfalutin lit-fic about seemingly mundane things? Own it. That’s my vote, anyway. We should all take pride in what we do, and we should try to find ways to respect what other people do as well.

So all together now, for one last time:

I write horror, but my vampires are nothing like Edward Cullen (or, for that matter, like any of these).

I write fantasy, but my wizards are nothing like Dumbledor.

I write romance, but my heroines are nothing like Elizabeth Lowell’s.

Get it?

Good.

Now we can move on, right? Write.

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Top 10 Sexy Vampires

Originally posted on Wednesday, ‎May ‎25, ‎2011, ‏‎4:30:00 PM

1. Jean-Claude, Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton

There are plenty of sexy-ass vampires to choose from in Laurell K. Hamilton’s bestselling Anita Blake series, but I have always been partial to the Master of the City of St. Louis: Jean-Claude. (He’s all comic booked-up here, but in my head he’s not overly muscled like that.) Born a peasant in 17th century France, this pale dream was chosen for his beauty and seduced his way to the top. Now he’s a legal American citizen who owns a vampire strip club. Screw “Team Edward.” I’m Team Jean-Claude.

2. Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff) Blade

How can anyone resist that smile? Smexy with a nice dose of evil. Oh, yum.

3. Black Hat, Priest

This movie isn’t really very good. I mean, it’s not bad, but it’s not great. By far, the best part was when Black Hat turned to the camera and smiled – flashing just the right amount of fang. He’s the only reason I might be persuaded to see the inevitable sequel.

4. Brides of Dracula, Dracula by Bram Stoker

These deathly beauties are depicted differently in every movie version of Dracula, but honestly, the book does it best – just the right hint of sexual provocation without going into explicit detail. Any imaginative reader can fill in the blanks.

5. Lestat de Lioncourt (Tom Cruise) Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice

Naughty, naughty vampire. Lestat makes bad look so, so good.

6. Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek) From Dusk Til Dawn

Salma Hayek is probably the main attraction for many repeat viewers of this fun vampire romp. She starts out doing a dance in a bikini with a snake wrapped around her. She is the epitome of “seductress.”

7. David (Kiefer Sutherland) The Lost Boys

I like all of the Lost Boys, but Kiefer Sutherland as David is the head blood-sucker, and I’ve always been a sucker (forgive me) for a strong leader… even if he’s dead. And besides, who the hell else can make a mullet look good?

8. Ivy Tamwood, Rachel Morgan series, Kim Harrison

 

As far as I know, there haven’t been any movie, TV, or comic book adaptations of these books yet, but I imagine Ivy would look sort of like Victoria Beckham. Tall, confident, and deadly, Ivy can rival any vampire on this list. Oh, and did I mention she likes girls? Nice.

9. Louis (Brad Pitt) Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice

Louis is superbly portrayed by Brad Pitt in the movie version of Anne Rice’s famous book. Sentimental and very human, Louis is seduced into vampirism (and more?) by the slightly more sinister Lestat. His ethical battle against his need for blood strikes a strong chord in its similarity to the human battle to withstand evil. Blood, lust, and morals, what more could a girl ask for?

10. Akasha (Aaliyah), The Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice

This film kind of sucks, but there is no denying that Aaliyah as the first vampire is a fierce beauty.

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Thank You

‎Originally posted on Tuesday, ‎May ‎17, ‎2011, ‏‎3:46:00 PM | Annie Neugebauer

Friday officially concluded the All Things Poetry Blog Series. I am very happy with how things turned out; I feel it was a huge success. In this past month and a half, WordsByAnnie.com received well over 1,000 visitors! Those of you in the blogging industry know that this is still relatively small-time (the Big Dogs get that many hits a DAY, can you believe it?), but it’s wonderful progress for me. The blog is finally beginning to gain regular readers, more exposure, and some beautiful momentum.

It’s all because of you.

I am so grateful to all of you who participated.

Thank you to my guest bloggers: Jan Spence, Beth Honeycutt, and J. Paul Holcomb.

10 brave souls contributed their work for Post Your Poem Day. It really made my day (no – my week) to see how many people were willing to jump in and share their work.

Thanks to those who shared my poetry around the web. Lisa Kilian over at What Not to Do as a Writer added “River of Life” to her “THE LIST” page. And Judy Clement Wall added “Scarcely Caged” to her “The Friday List” series on her blog, Zebra Sounds.

Most people named my busting poetry myths as their favorite post of the series. I love that! Thank you so much. My personal fave was this slightly long post about the evolution of my horror sonnet, “Scarcely Caged.” It’s a little specific, but I just know it’s waiting to find the perfect reader to really help! I’d also love to teach this process in a class, along with the basics. If anyone knows of any poetry conferences, workshops, or community programs looking for such things… feel free to send them my way.

Dozens of you commented, tweeted, re-tweeted, visited the Merging Visions exhibit, “liked,” shared links on Facebook, and sent others my way.

I think it’s really cool, the little community we’re slowly building here, and I am thankful for each and every one of you.

And don’t be sad! Just because the series is over doesn’t mean I won’t come back to poetry on the blog. I will. But until then, the series is nicely archived under All Things Poetry Series, for you to browse any time you’d like. Please continue to read, comment, and share the blogs that affect you.

Fresh post – back to regularly scheduled programming – coming up next time!

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My Advice to Poets, Part II- Getting Out There

Originally posted on Wednesday, ‎May ‎11, ‎2011, ‏‎11:03:00 AM

Once you’ve gotten down steps 1 through 9 on Monday’s post

1. Start thinking of poetry as professional in addition to artistic.

If publication is where you want to go (see Part I, #1), you need to start thinking of poetry as a job and not just a hobby. This might sound stark in comparison to the beauty and creativity of composing poetry, but it’s a reality of the field. Just like with fiction and nonfiction, when you’re not actively writing (everything from editing to submitting), you need to put your business hat on. Poetry is an art, but it’s also a professional field. Give it that respect. Which means…

2. Format correctly.

Some people swear they have to write their poetry long-hand first. Or center-aligned. Or double-spaced. Fine. Write it that way. But after you finish it, make it standard formatting. You might rebel; you might think that standard formatting ruins the “art.” Get over it. If you’re going pro, you really need to use standard rules unless the deviation MEANS something crucial to the poem. Poetry is cryptic enough without leaving out all of your commas and capitalizing the first word of each line. Punctuate as you would prose. The goal here is clarity, not obscurity. Aside from that: 1” margins, 12 pt. Times New Roman, left justified, title bold or underlined, single spaced, black font, white paper, end of story.

3. Start entering contests.

Not all contests cost money. Use credible resources like Poet’s Market and Poets and Writers to track down contests that suit your work. After a few dozen entries, if you’re not winning or publishing anything, reevaluate your progress and venues. Get more feedback. Don’t give up.

4. Submit to literary journals, magazines, and blogs.

Use databases like Duotrope to search out venues to submit to for publication of individual poems. Research each venue (read a copy or two) before you submit – this is not only professional courtesy, as you won’t be wasting editors’ time with material totally off base, but also heightens your chances of getting accepted. There really is no shortcut to this step.

5. Honesty is the best policy.

If a venue or contest says no simultaneous submissions, don’t double submit. Don’t enter previously published work in new contests. Even if you get away with it, it’s not a good idea. Your reputation is the most important thing about your professionalism. Don’t ruin it. Word gets around.

6. Don’t let your poetry expire.

This is just my opinion, but with individual poems, don’t worry about starting from the top. The wonderful thing about poems is that they’re short. You’ll never run out, and it’s much easier to work your way up than down. Small venues lead to publication credits that make it easier to be accepted at big venues. That being said, don’t submit to a venue that you would be ashamed to put on your resume.

7. Learn and experiment with both traditional forms and free verse, even if it’s not your thing.

Why limit the number of potential weapons in your arsenal? You’ll never know until you try.

8. Keep it fresh.

There are some things that have been done so many times they’ve become trite. Try to avoid writing about these topics:

love
fear
hate
war
poverty
passion
flowers
childhood
death
history
society
environmental issues
politics

I’m not saying you can’t discuss these things. For example, there is nothing wrong with love poems. But to keep it fresh, don’t talk about Love with a capital “L.” Make it specific – a story or minute detail that will stick with the reader and whisper your message instead of shout it. And occasionally, of course, it’s fine to include broader poems in your collections, but don’t expect them to be published as stand-alone pieces unless they’re really fresh.

9. “Playing to the judges” is really just improving your poetry.

I’ve judged a few poetry contests, and I critique poetry regularly. Editors are essentially judging your poetry as well. Is it good enough to appear in their publication? Here’s how I evaluate a poem – the things I look for:

• Emotional honesty. Does it “ring true”? Am I left feeling like someone just told me a powerful secret?
• Skill. Just like all arts, there needs to be some level of raw talent.
• Originality, also known as “freshness.” See #8.
• Content. Is the subject matter interesting?
• Cleverness/turn of phrase (part of skill).
• Professionalism/presentation. Is it free of typos and misspellings? Does it have standard formatting? (See #2.)
• Accuracy. Is it correct?

• If a poem states that it is a certain form, it needs to actually be that form and adhere to the rules of that form. If it is close to a form but not quite, label it a “___(form name)___ variation.” (I.e.: villanelle variation.) Also, you can’t just call a love poem a sonnet. A sonnet is a form with a specific rhyme scheme and meter requirements. A ballad is not just a poem that “tells a story.” It is actually a form. And you can’t enter a rhymed poem in a free verse category. You will be disqualified. Know these things before you submit.
• It drives me crazy when a poem uses a rhymed word pronounced incorrectly. When in doubt, look it up.
• If you have any checkable facts in your work, check them. I’ve read beautiful poems that have incorrect info as the basis. No one will want to publish that, because they’ll get 100 letters pointing out the mistake.

Best of luck, happy writing, and don’t give up.

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My Advice to Poets, Part I- Getting Started

Originally posted on May 9, 2011 at 11:26 AM

1. Decide why you are writing (or want to write) poetry.

There are many reasons: as an emotional outlet, to be heard, to become well-known, to get paid, to be respected in the poetry community, to flex creative muscles, as therapy, for pleasure… All of these are worthy motives, and all of them have different “rules.” The advice I’m giving here is based predominantly on getting published/going pro. It’s important that you remember that. If you’re writing for the sake of getting feelings down – almost like a diary – who cares if you get it critiqued? That’s not the point; there’d be no reason to. I know that. So for the record, I’m just addressing people with goals similar to mine in this post.

2. Read & attend readings.

You can’t expect to be read if you don’t read. You can’t expect to be known if you don’t get out there. Plus, surrounding yourself with poetry opens you to it more, and you’ll find yourself being more prolific and more inspired.

3. Join a poetry organization (that doesn’t critique) first.

Don’t decide you’re going to start doing this incredibly emotional thing and then jump into the mosh-pit. Find a supportive community that doesn’t tear people down or make them feel inferior. Grow your confidence, find poet friends, and use this early time to build your voice.

4. Then join a critique group.

Critiquing poetry is just as important as critiquing prose. If you’re really serious about going pro and finding publication (after you’ve got step 3 down pat), you need a trustworthy partner or group to give you feedback. If you can’t find a critique group, start one.

5. Never be afraid to write a poem.

Seriously. Never hesitate. The worst that can happen is it sucks, you tear it up, and no one ever sees it. No harm, no foul. The best that can happen? It’s awesome. Don’t let fear talk you out of doing things you want to do. That includes writing poetry.

6. Don’t ever, EVER be ashamed of your early work.

Going along with #5, keep in mind that everyone starts somewhere. When you’ve outgrown your early talent, the lure is strong to look back and mock your first attempts. But don’t. The courage to try is enough to be proud of. That being said, know what writing level you’re at. Don’t step too far beyond your bounds. More on publication and venues on Wednesday.

7. Consider carefully before posting your own poetry on your blog/website.

This practice, like self-publishing novels, can and sometimes does work (in fact, I have found several that do), but it often doesn’t. The temptation to write a poem and stuff it on your blog is too high. If you’re going pro (see #1), you should critique and edit your poetry before publication, including the internet. Slapping up new stuff prevents that, and once it’s up, it’s up. Things on the interwebs never go away. Plus, putting it on your own blog (before it’s published) prevents you from building publication credits with that work, because most venues don’t accept previously published work. So don’t shoot yourself in the foot by putting every poem you’ve ever written online. Choose a select few as samples, and only put up the others as they’ve been published and the rights have reverted back to you.

8. Try to avoid perpetuating these myths.

9. Have fun, experiment, and never stop creating.

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