Lessons from a Writing Retreat

Hi guys! I just got home from a self-constructed writing retreat with two of my best writing buddies. Before I get back into the normal of groove of things today, I thought I would share with you all some of the things I learned on my little trip.

And if you haven’t yet, writers especially, please go read my guest blog at Writer Unboxed! Okay, here we go…

Lesson #1: My “ergonomic” keyboard is useless if I don’t use it right.

If you work at a computer, take a moment to look at your desk. Now think about your body. What hurts? My bet: neck, shoulders, wrists, and forearms, plus possibly back, knees, and even ankles.

I thought I was doing pretty good. I mean, I have an ergonomic keyboard, a foot rest, and my screen raised up on a stand. But I was still having pain.

Three day retreat, with five times my normal daily word count, and I was almost pain free. The difference? The table I was using and my positioning on that table. I had my laptop propped up on a binder and pushed back about two feet away from the edge. That way, my forearms were resting on the desk. That this could make such a difference had never even occurred to me.

My lesson: Experiment until I find what feels the best.

Lesson # 2: I have been setting my daily word count goal way too low.

Everyone has different word count goals because everyone has different circumstances in which they write. Some people have three day-jobs and can only write on the weekends. Others, like me, work at home all day writing. So this isn’t about my specific numbers; those are irrelevant. It’s about goals.

When I’m not working on a first draft of a novel (which makes my word count go up drastically because I like to pound them out), my daily word count goal is 1,000 words. That can include poetry, short stories, or whatever (blogs don’t count), but I try to hit that minimum five days a week.

At this retreat, I did 5,000 words a day. That’s FIVE TIMES my daily goal. And it wasn’t even difficult! What the spelunking?! I know retreats are different than real life. I mean, there really isn’t anything to do but write, so it’s easy to have a higher output, but still. Adjust that number for paying bills, cleaning up cat vomit, and buying groceries, and I could still easily double my previous goal.

My lesson: I had gotten comfortable with where I was and never moved up. I was being too easy on myself.

Lesson # 3: Brains need food too.

So crazy output is great, as long as you don’t feel like a steaming pile of zombie brain at the end of the day. At the end of my first 5,000 word day, I was so tired I couldn’t even think. As I lied in bed wondering how just sitting at a desk and thinking could be so tiring, it hit me: I was doing five times my normal output and eating less food.

I mean, all I was doing was typing. Who needs a big lunch when they’re sitting still all day? But the thing is that even brains need fuel. The next day I did the same output, but was conscious to have small snacks every couple of hours. I was still tired at the end of the day, but I didn’t feel like a brain zombie.

My lesson: higher productivity requires higher energy input.

Lesson #4: The world doesn’t end when you don’t have internet.

Really. It was still there when I got back.

(I know, I was kind of surprised too.)

My lesson: It’s okay to unplug.

Lesson #5: My friends are the best.

I mean, look at them! They speak of movies, boobies, books, and awesomesauce.

This is Addley. She has excessively loud sneezes.

 This is Febe. She helps me rate Addley’s excessively loud sneezes on a scale of 1 to 10.

My lesson: writing with friends is only about a thousand times better than writing alone. Bonus: free brainstorming sessions!

Lesson #6: Beautiful views are not so much seen as felt.

You must feel it here *taps heart*, not here *taps head*.

We were lucky enough to have a gorgeous, brand new vacation house to go to for free. (Thank you to Addley’s Aunt Susan!) There was a whole wall of windows overlooking a lovely view of a part of the Colorado River. I looked at it, of course. I stared at it. I went out on the deck and mused over it. And then I got to work.

Did I need the view to write? No. When I was actually actively writing, I didn’t even glance at the view. But the strange thing – the really magical thing that makes retreats totally worth it – is that I could feel the view as I wrote. It was like a peaceful, inspiring, but invisible blanket tucked in around me. I didn’t need to look. I knew it was there.

My lesson: Hold this retreat feeling in my heart as long as I can, and get to work.

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Halloween, Poe, and “The Call of the House of Usher”

Happy Halloween! And for wiccans, blessed Samhain! I hope everyone has a fun, special, and safe holiday.

What Halloween goodies have I got on the blog for you this year? Well, I’m a busy, busy bee getting ready for an awesome four-day writing retreat with two of my best writing buddies, so I haven’t been able to plan anything spectacular. But that’s okay! There are still goodies for you to browse… but beware, because some are treats and some are tricks. Okay, not really. They’re all treats. Check out:

Relevant blogs:
All Hallows’ Evening for a month
Types of Monsters
The Bestest Scariest Campiest Worst Funniest and Most Lovable Horror Films of All Freaking Time
Top Fears
Horror and Terror

Spookalishous poetry:
To Walk Again
Scarcely Caged
Dragging the Waters,” Phantom Kangaroo
Marionette
“The Lurking,” L.M. Stull’s blog
“The Skeleton,” Spaceports & Spidersilk
“The Centipede,” Underneath the Juniper Tree, September 2011 Issue

And, the scarriest of all…

I have a horror short story coning out in this Edgar Allan Poe anthology: The Spirit of Poe. This story is my personal tribute to Poe, who’s one of my literary heroes. It’s called “The Call of the House of Usher,” and yes, of course it is in reference to Poe’s famous short story “The Fall of the House of Usher.” In fact, you can think of it as a sequel, if you’d like. The editors of the anthology said, “Excellent story. You’re in fine company in the anthology and deserving to be shown right next to Poe’s story that inspired you.” May I take a professional moment to react?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Okay. I’m good. But there’s so much to love here! For one thing, this is the first publication I’ve been in with professional pay. Now, this anthology is for an excellent cause (ALL proceeds go to save the The Edgar Allan Poe House and Museum in Baltimore, which has lost its funding from the city), so I plan on donating money back to the fundraiser. But receiving that payment is what allowed me to apply for membership in the Horror Writers Association – my professional organization.

Another short story published. Professional pay. Membership in the HWA. Supporting the best cause ever. And having my work appear right next to my literary idol’s. What more could I possibly ask for? I guess, when I think about it, I’m pretty content this Halloween. On that note, I’ll leave you with some of my love blogs to Poe. =)

Happy birthday, Mr. Poe.
The Founding Fathers (and Mothers) of Horror Literature
My Top 25 Favorite Poems

Merry tricking!

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Top Fears

My good friend Febe Moss’s post about her fears has inspired me to make a blog post about my own fears. I do, after all, confront these things every day as a horror writer. But I’m putting a twist on it, because as I created this list I realized a few things. For starters, the things that scare me in real life are totally different than the things that scare me in books and movies. (I have no fear, for example of being possessed in my daily life – but that totally pushes my buttons in well-done movies.) And also, I realized that I’m oddly unafraid of some of the main things other people list, which I found interesting. So I’ve broken it up into three “top 5” lists.

Horror in Montalbano

Top 5 Things I’m Most Afraid of in Real Life

1. Someone or Thing Grabbing Me

Walking up the stairs, getting into my car, crossing a partially open doorway… gets me every time.

2. Hitting a Person with my Car

Thank heavens I’ve never done this. But the fear is so overwhelming to me that it became the opening chapter in my zombie novel. I don’t even like hitting frogs with my car. A person would be unbearable.

3. Bugs

I could have taken up more than half of this list by specifying roaches, spiders, and *God help me* centipedes, but the truth is that all bugs make me squirm. Centipedes especially. It’s just not right to have that many legs. (To read my poem inspired by this fear, read “The Centipede” on page 74 of the September issue of Underneath the Juniper Tree.)

4. Being Locked Up

You know that scene in The Sixth Sense where the kid gets pulled into that closet at the top of the spiral stairs? Yeah, that’s what’s waiting for me in Hell. A dark little cubby that I can’t get out of.

5. The Dentist

I wish I could show you guys my poem, “Incapacitated,” that hones in on this fear, but I’m still hoping to get it published elsewhere, so I can’t. Just take my word for it: the dentist scares me. A lot.

*1st Runner Up: Dogs

Big ones. That bark.

*2nd Runner Up: Open Water

Open water is like outer space. It’s just so big that you become aware of how small and helpless you are, which (I think) strikes at the core of every person’s fears.

Top 5 Things I’m Most Afraid of in Fiction

1. Undefined Things in the Dark

For me, horror is like erotica (bear with me) in that they both play off of suspense for their impact. The best horror, like the best erotica, builds toward the pay-off. Desire is sexier than sex – anyone who’s ever been celibate for more than a few months can tell you that – and fear is scarier than the monster. So for me, it’s the undefined and the dark shadows that scare the most in fiction. Once I know who the bad guy is and what he wants, I’m rarely as afraid.

2. Insanity

Gong insane is a scary thought, but I figure… well, I’d be crazy, so I wouldn’t mind, right? It’s other people going insane that really gets me. How do you deal with someone that can’t reason on your level?

3. Hiding at Risk of Being Found

This goes back to the unknown. Talk about suspense. If the hider has to be silent, which they usually do, all the better. Think of how many scenes there are in horror movies where the victim hides behind a shutter-slatted closet door with a hand over their mouth as the killer stalks by. Clearly, I’m not the only one this works for.

4. Unknown Contagious Diseases

This is usually in the vein of zombies, these days, but disease in general is pretty scary. Even the bubonic plague makes my heart speed up if I think about it too long. There’s just no good way to guard against a new, unknown disease.

5. Possession

Possession is very similar to insanity, for me, at least as far as the reasons it’s scary. But added to that is the aspect of religion – and the idea that this type of insanity might be purely belief-based. I mean, if you don’t believe in God or Satan, you can’t be possessed, right? The concept intrigues me, and works especially well as ambiguous on screen.

Top 5 Things That Scare Others but Don’t Scare Me

1. Violence & Gore

Violence and gore can be gross, impactful, shocking, disturbing, and even fun, and I’m not afraid to use them to their best advantage. But they are not scary. Pain, the chase, death, motive, moral ambiguity, and suspense all can be, but not the violence itself. Murder with no motive of characters we don’t care about is not scary. Torture porn is not scary. It’s just cheap tricks.

2. Flying

I don’t know why, but this just doesn’t scare me. I’m more worried about getting in a car accident than a plane crash. It’s certainly more likely.

3. Heights

I actually like heights. I mean, sure, if someone was threatening to throw me over the edge of the Eifel Tower I’d probably be freaking out, but in general being high up doesn’t do anything but make me think, “Look at the pretty view.”

4. Death

This is almost too deep a topic to explain. Everyone has different thoughts on death and afterlife and what it all means. I guess I’ve mostly made my peace with my interpretation of it. I’m not ready to die, but then, who is? To me it’s not worth sweating over something we can’t control.

5. The Devil / Malevolent Spirits

This might seem ironic, since possession is on one of my lists of things that do scare me, but there’s a key difference, for me. Possession involves a taking over of the victim, body mind and soul. The devil or demons or whatever are outside beings – and usually executed pretty ineffectively, in my opinion. The best exception? Paranormal Activity. But I think I like that because it ties back into my #1 fear: Undefined Things in the Dark. If that evil spirit were given a name and/or a motive, it would be infinitely less effective.

So there you have it, folks. The skinny on what makes me quake and what makes me snicker. How about you? What keeps you lying awake at night, pulling the covers up just a little bit higher? What’s your number one fear, and which do you think is over-played?

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Are Mountains Worth Climbing?

I know I said I was going to do a few more horror posts for Halloween, but I’ve changed my mind. I just got back from a week-long camping trip, and my thoughts are still lingering that way.

For the second time in my life, I found myself in this situation:

1.) Me plus my travel companion (first my BFF, this time Hub-a-dub) on what’s supposed to be an enjoyable vacation.
2.) We find a small road going up a mountain (first in Colorado, this time in Arkansas) and begin climbing (first through the snow, this time through rocks and dust).
3.) Soon, the road becomes unnavigable – or nearly so.
4.) I urge my partner to keep going just a little bit further ahead (first to reach a known destination at an unknown distance, this time to see what’s at the top of the road).
5.) We continue a bit, and my companion stops having fun.
6.) Seeing this, I tell them to wait for me, and I trudge ahead on my own.
7.) I refuse to give up.
8.) I am eventually forced to turn back (first by an avalanche blocking the road, this time by a time constraint of when I had to start coming back so Hub-a-dub would know I was okay).

What I should probably get out of this startling similar repeat is a lesson about stubbornness. I’ve frequently accused my mother-in-law of being the most stubborn person on Earth, but I’m pretty sure it’s actually me. (Sorry, Mom-in-law.) But I’m not thinking about that particular aspect of things today because, well, I don’t want to. Ha! Instead, I’m thinking about the mountains themselves, and the journey up them.

You know I’m about to get metaphorical with this shit. Of course, for me, my mind goes instantly to writing and publishing, but there are all sorts of goals in life – and all goals worth striving for have obstacles you have to overcome.

The thing about climbing mountains, at least new mountains, is that you’re never quite sure exactly what you’ll get once you reach the peak. You have an idea, yeah. Maybe breathtaking beauty, sweeping views, fresher air. But until you get up there, you can’t really know if it’ll be worth the climb.

And as much as the happy, positive part of me wants to assure you that it’s always worth the climb… sometimes it isn’t. I know this because there were instances besides the two above where I did actually get to the top of where I wanted to go. Sometimes you’re expecting heart-filling, gut-stirring, breath-stealing newness and all you get is an, “Oh. Well… that’s pretty,” before you decide to head back down.

And sometimes it’s even more than you could have hoped for. Sometimes the reward is tenfold. There are mountains, rest assured, that can change you. Change your life. Change your soul. And you can’t know which ones they will be until you climb them.

Some people are content to climb half-way to get the view. And despite what society might tell you, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. There are many types of people in this world, and not all of them can be as stubborn as me and Mom-in-law. (Hey, someone’s got to know how to compromise.) And some of the time – perhaps most of the time – those people are smarter. How often is the view from half way up as good as the view from the peak? Pretty often, actually. Scenery doesn’t change that much in a few thousand feet. Sometimes half way is just as good as all the way.

Sometimes. That’s the word that drives me to climb these mountains. “Sometimes.”

Because other times the climb makes the difference. Other times the view is worth the blisters, the sunburn, the cold toes, the aching shins, the dry thirstiness and pounding head. Other times the view can absolutely change your life. And that’s worth the journey, don’t you think?

But you’ll never know what’s waiting for you at the top if you don’t make the climb.

Maybe stubbornness isn’t such a bad trait after all.

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Types of Monsters

“That truth is that monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win.”– Stephen King, Introduction to The Shining (Simon and Schuster edition, 2002)

(I made that sign. Isn’t it cute?)

Ah, October. What a lovely, spooky month. And what better time to turn our minds to thoughts of goblins, beasts, vampires, murdering psychopaths, ghouls, zombies, and the occasional resident ghost?

Wikipedia tells me that “the word ‘monster’ derives from Latin monstrum, an aberrant occurrence, usually biological, that was taken as a sign that something was wrong within the natural order.” So if you think about it, monsters are simply the abnormal in the worst possible way — anything different that is perceived as frightening.

Since I love to categorize and classify things, let’s break it down, shall we?

(Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

I contend that there are only 2 broad types of monsters:
1) Physical
2) Metaphysical

A monster is one, the other, or both. No monster is neither, or it does not exist and is therefore not a monster.

And all monsters can be categorized in one or more of the following sub-types:

Alien– from another planet/world/dimension/time
example: Alien

Belief-based– only exists if the victim believes it exists
example: Voodoo creatures

Historical– long-lost, previously existing creature
example: Bigfoot, King Kong

Human– people, but bad
example: Psycho, American Psycho

Supernatural– things with no explanation other than “it just is”

Magic– spells, power, ritual, etc.
example: Pet Cemetary

Religious/mythological– beings created by higher powers
example: Cerberus, Satan

Biological– a being or creature with a viable scientific explanation

Man-made– an experiment
example: Mr. Hyde

Natural– a species created through evolution, etc.
example: apes in Planet of the Apes, Graboids in Tremors

Perceived/false– the faux monster
example: The Sandlot’s “The Beast,” To Kill a Mockingbird’s Boo Radley

And all of these types are scary for one or more of these reasons:
Malicious intent

Motive unknown
example: Michael Myers in Halloween

Motive known
example: Aileen Wuornos in Monster

Instability of motive
example: Jack Torrance in The Shining

Superior ability

Intelligence
example: Jigsaw

Strength
example: Jason

Speed
example: 28 Days Later zombies

Authority
example: Hellraiser, Lestat

Powers
example: The Ring, The Faculty

Willingness to do evil
example: villains in Scream, killer in Frailty

Physical appearance
example: Nosferatu, The Grudge, monster in Pan’s Labyrinth

The unknown
example: The Sixth Sense

Distant presence
example: The Blair Witch Project

All of this works together to create a sense of inevitability, a sort of looming powerlessness as if the protagonist/victim is helpless against what’s coming. And that, my friends, is why monsters are scary.

What do you think? Who (or what) is your favorite monster? What “type” are they? And of all the types, which kind is the scariest to you?

I’ll be doing several scary/horror-based posts this month in honor of Halloween. Welcome to my dark little corner of the world. Happy October.

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