Writing and Mental Health

Last time I blogged about something close to home for me, and I think to many writers: depression. It’s no secret that the book industry is maddening and difficult, and it’s no secret that creative brains have been linked to depression, so it seems logical to me that writers are prone to it. Knowing that isn’t enough for me, though. I want to be proactive.

Thankfully, I’ve made great progress over the years. I still have my bouts, but much less often and for shorter periods. Part of that is luck, part of it is work, and part of it is learning. Everyone is different, of course, and I’m certainly no expert, but I thought today I’d focus on the positive by sharing with you some of the things I’ve learned that help me.

Sunshine

I was honestly shocked when I realized how important this is to my mental well-being. Sunshine, really? But yes, really. I try to go outside every single day, even if it’s only for ten minutes. I take walks, check the mail, water the plants, whatever. I just need to get outside under the actual sun to feel its warmth and soak up its light. If the sun’s in hiding, I use a sun lamp and space heater. They’re not nearly as effective (which perhaps explains my annual winter blues), but they’re still better than nothing. And so is being outside even on cold, gloomy days, when it comes down to it. The great outdoors are a magical thing.

Physical Activity

Sucks, doesn’t it? I’m a writer, not a model or a firefighter; I thought I’d escape that whole exercise thing. Turns out that mental health and physical health are so deeply intertwined that they’re pretty much the same thing. The brain is part of the body, after all. I’m not big on exercise, though. I’m just not. Fun activities like hiking and dancing and kayaking are great, but I don’t have time to make them a frequent part of my life. Yet when you look at the stationary lifestyle of most writers, it becomes obvious that we need to pay special attention to  exercise. For me, a bare-minimum solution is working out 2-3 times a week. Yoga and/or stretching brings me peace and balance. Weight-lifting brings me strength and self-esteem. And cardio brings me energy and endorphins. I can track a noticeable trend in my mood based on my physical activity.

An Ergonomic Space

Again, the body and the mind are intertwined, and writers spend a huge amount of our time sitting at a computer. Having chronic discomfort from sitting wrong can contribute to lethargy, crankiness, and eventually depression. A little over a year ago I took about a week to make my desk space more ergonomic, and my wrists, neck, and back thank me. I bought an ergonomic keyboard and installed a pullout tray for it to sit in under my desk so I wouldn’t be reaching up to my laptop keys. I bought a laptop stand so my neck wouldn’t always be craned down. And I removed the armrests on my chair, which got in the way of my arm hanging naturally to reach the mouse. Add them together, and what a huge difference!

Breaks

The single biggest change in how I handle my depression came when I was in college and I (begrudgingly) joined a group meditation class for depression. As many of you may know by now, I’m very very grounded, and I don’t stomach spiritual-plane type stuff well, so I was ready to hate this class. I really lucked out, though, because the particular type of meditation I was taught was mindfulness meditation based on breathing. My instructors wanted hard results. They didn’t want to talk about feelings or delve into the past; they wanted us to recognize and acknowledge emotions and then breathe. That was it, not a mumbo or a jumbo to be seen. 🙂

The best thing about (my version of) mindfulness meditation is that there isn’t a wrong way to do it. There’s no time requirement. No goal. All you do is sit back and take stock. How am I feeling? Acknowledge that, and let it go if you want (or hold on). Then breathe, paying close physical attention to your body. Feel your lungs, your feet, your throat, your face. Notice it. That’s it.

If even that seems too much, or isn’t your cup of tea, try taking a different type of break. I use Work Rave to remind me when I’ve been staring at the screen too long. It encourages micro-breaks and occasional longer breaks, and even shows you stretches to help prevent repetitive motion injury. You can download Work Rave for free or you can set a timer and stop every hour or so to stretch, walk around, and change focus. It’s good for the body and the mind.

Social Interaction

Okay, so all of my tips so far have been body-based. Shows what camp I’m in, eh? (Camp Science! Provable results!) But of course, the mind needs tending all its own, too. Aside from general things that all people with depression should consider, writers in particular can benefit from emphasizing social connection. Especially for those of us doing this full-time, it can become a very solitary pursuit. Solitude can be wonderful for creativity, but too much of it breeds sorrow and disconnection. Of course, joining clubs and volunteering and things of that nature are always great options. So is spending time with friends and family.

But for writers specifically, no matter how introverted, I think it’s incredibly important to interact with other writers. Online is better than nothing, but seeing other writers face-to-face on a regular basis is invaluable. Friends and family can be wonderfully supportive, but if they’re not doing what you’re doing, there’s only so much they can understand about what you’re going through. Writing friends get it, though, and the feeling that we’re not alone – that others understand us and are fighting for the same things – is a huge mental boost.

Positivity Games

And finally, what about purely mental things when you don’t have time to go see your fellow writers? Here are some of the writing-related things I do to help counteract depressive tendencies.

I talk about it, as evidenced by this post, many past posts in this category of my blog, and occasional tweets and statuses. I try not to talk about it in mundane, whiny ways, but I speak up when I feel the need to, and I ask for support when I want it. Depression is a very common struggle, especially among writers, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing makes a burden feel heavier than trying to keep it a secret.

I keep a joy jar. This year I’ve been adding notes to my joy jar every time I feel like it – something I’ve accomplished, something nice someone said, something fun I did, etc. Most (but not all) of them are writing-related because I keep it in my office. I plan to read through all of them at the end of the year, but honestly, that’s a bonus. The real gift is in taking time to stop and put weight on the good things.

Likewise, I keep a “brag box” file in my computer. Whenever I get a good review, super sweet comment, or encouragement from someone I admire, I copy-paste it into one long file of kindness. When I feel super low, I go back and read through that file to remind myself how many people believe in me. It’s hard to feel alone or like a failure when you’re swimming in the voices of people who’ve taken the time to encourage your art. ♥


So that’s it for now: the best practices I’ve found to combat my depression. Writers, creatives, and anyone who feels like joining the conversation: Do you struggle with depression? What tips help you? Please feel free to share below!

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Posted in Depression | 25 Comments

When Low Meets Dark

A little over a year ago, for the first time in seven years, I thought: “I want to quit.” I knew even as I thought it that I wouldn’t. I wanted to, but I would never let myself. Still, thinking “I want to quit” was a strange thing for me. I had gone through hard times in my writing before, of course – some really hard times that I thought would never end – but I’d never reached a point that felt quite so defeating. I didn’t want to keep trying.

I’m fine now, if you’re worrying. In fact, I’m quite happy these days, so why am I sharing this now? Because I want any other writers and artists out there (and people in general, when you get down to it) to know that this happens to me – that it happens to everyone. I want you to know and understand and believe that there are low, dark places that we sometimes slide into, and that’s okay. Sometimes we run and jump, sometimes we slip, sometimes we can’t get out, and sometimes it’s where we want to be. Sometimes cool, quiet places are where we need to be to heal; sometimes it feels like drowning.

Writers are told to get on social media. We’re told to network and build platforms. We’re told to be personable but not overly personal. We’re told to keep things positive and fun. We’re told to share the good news and pretend the bad news never happens. And from a sales standpoint, this is all good advice. From a human standpoint, it can be dangerous. It’s easy to get online and follow writers and authors and assume that what we see is all there is. It looks like everyone is flitting around, cheerfully dogged, living lives full of success and releases and acceptances and news.

Please don’t let that be a thing that pulls you down. I promise you, we’re all struggling. If someone’s genuinely not struggling, they probably aren’t trying that hard. For those of us who live this and care deeply and want great things, the rejections can be heartbreaking. The failures feel permanent. The risks seem too ferocious, and the options too few.

It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to embrace the struggle. It’s okay to step away for a while. It’s okay to acknowledge that this is one hard-ass road we’ve chosen, we artists, and that sometimes it’s overwhelming. I believe that. I allow myself to feel every step of this journey, and I try not to run from it. So when I think something like, “I want to quit,” I don’t pretend it never crossed my mind. I acknowledge it, I give myself a break, and I reach out to someone who cares about me for encouragement or support or just simple understanding. We all sink into those dark, low places, but we’re never truly alone unless we want to be.

But we must always come back to the important things. Low and dark is not forever. You have pulled yourself out before, and you can pull yourself out again. Don’t stay in too long. If you need help, there are people who will help you. Please, please ask for it.

Even in the midst of my lowest point as a writer, there was a certain peace that came with knowing I’d get through it. That’s the thing about people who’ve been through a lot. We’ve survived the unthinkable, and we know we can survive it again, coming out the other side not just stronger, but softer and brighter and more sensitive in all the best ways.

I was right; I did survive it. You can too. And you will.

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Posted in Depression | 26 Comments

All Hallow’s Read Giveaway Winners

Image by Parée Rica.

Well, my fiends and spooklets, it’s Halloween day and my All Hallow’s Read giveaway has drawn to an end. Thank you so much to everyone who read, commented on, and shared my posts this October! I’ve had such fun sharing my work with you all.

Now, for the winners. First, I tracked down a suitably magic hat — with plenty of character (because that makes the magic thicker).

Then I gathered up all of the entrants (plus the number of times each entrant commented) and wrote them all out on slips of paper. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any magic paper, so pumpkin orange had to do.

And finally, I drew three names: the winners!

Congratulations to the three winners! Listed here with last names to avoid confusion (we had a Melissa and a Missy):

Melissa Crytzer Fry
Andrea Blythe
Cynthia Robertson

I’ll be emailing you soon to get your shipping address and scary book choices. Remember, you can choose any of these three:

It by Stephen King
Bird Box by Josh Malerman
Ghost Story by Peter Straub

Big congrats to the winners, and thanks again to all who played.

I hope you all have a happy, spooky, and magical Halloween!

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Posted in Updates & Announcements | Tagged | 6 Comments

The Lurking

This poem will be published in Collections VI, an anthology of the 2016 Merging Visions Exhibit by the Denton Poets’ Assembly and Visual Arts Society of Texas. I’m looking forward to seeing the art created to pair with it!


The Lurking

It slugs along the concrete,
groveling for scraps,
a mummy of rejected parts.
An atrocity, its body
is soft and patchy
with hair, scales, and flesh—
and letters.
Always fueled by my discarded
turns of phrase,
it skulks in the background
of the cellar,
gathering power pieced together
from my unwanted.

I am in charge here,
I remind myself
as I toss another poem below,
and I only need worry
if I were to give it
something sharp.

© Annie Neugebauer, 2010.


This post is part of my All Hallow’s Read Giveaway! For full contest rules, please see here. If you’re entering, don’t forget to subscribe to my blog emails so you’ll see when I announce the winners. Good luck!

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Posted in My Works | Tagged , | 17 Comments

10 Tips for Creating a Wicked Halloween Costume at HWA

This week I’m taking a little break from poetry to send you over to my guest post for the Horror Writers Association blog series Halloween Haunts: “10 Tips for Creating a Wicked Halloween Costume.” I’ve already changed my costume plan from when I wrote that post (I am a fickle beast), but the tips still stand.  And you can see a picture of my costume from last year, when I was The Man in Black, aka The Dread Pirate Roberts, which was really fun. 🙂

This guest post is part of my All Hallow’s Read Giveaway! For full contest rules, please see here. If you’re entering, don’t forget to subscribe to my blog emails so you’ll see when I announce the winners! Since the comments on my guest post are closed, you can leave a comment here on this post to be entered.

Whether your goals are spooky, cute, sexy, or silly, I hope you enjoy my tips for making a great costume. Good luck!

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Posted in Just for Fun | 15 Comments