Poetry Reading of “The Fox”

Hey guys,

I’m trying something new this week with a video reading of my poem “The Fox.” Watch below!

Click here if you’d like to order your own copy of Encore 2017!

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The Haps That Have Happened

Staycation 2017

Hello out there, internet friends! I’m fresh back from my staycation, diving headfirst into a round of novel revisions and trying to get caught up on all of my business. How was the staycation, you ask? I think it all depends on what you’re comparing it to. Was it a vacation replacement? Not at all. Was it better than a normal work week? Absolutely. It was basically a week off to have fun with my husband. We tried new restaurants and bars, watched Netflix, went to a baseball game, that sort of thing. I didn’t get that Aaaaaaaah pressure release of visiting somewhere beautiful, and Texas is hot as Hell in July, but I am rested up and ready to get back to work.

Since it’s been a while since I posted a blog here on my main site, I thought I’d catch y’all up on what’s been going on that you might’ve missed. A big reason that my blogs here at home base have slowed down is because I’m busy busy posting them elsewhere! I’m writing more for my column at LitReactor – usually about twice a month. LitReactor has a cool, fun vibe and is geared towards writers AND readers. These are my latest three posts there:

I also continue to blog for Writer Unboxed every other month. This site is geared specifically towards writers, which is, incidentally, why I talk less about the actual craft/process of writing here than I have in the past. WU is a fantastic, supportive community for writers to talk craft, lifestyle, process, whatever. (Tip: the comments at WU are a huge part of the community and even of the content!) Here are my latest two posts there:

And of course in addition to my blogging adventures, I’m still publishing stories and poems when I can! Most recently out:

  • “The Fox,” Encore: Prize Poems of the NFSPS 2017 → Yay for placing first in this year’s nationals! This one is poem that shimmers on the edge of speculative—full of nature, whimsy, and longing. It’s one of my favorites, and I hope you love it too.
  • “Rocking,” Texas Poetry Calendar 2018, Dos Gatos Press → This poem is a reprint from last year’s Texas Poetry Calendar. 2018 is Dos Gatos Press’s last edition, so they did an editors’ choice anthology. This one’s a quiet little love poem.
  • “Pièce de Résistance,” Daunting DeviationsDigital Fiction Publishing Corp. → A short story reprint that you almost certainly missed the first time around. (The magazine it originally came out in was too expensive and hard to order.) But now it’s ebook-easy! This one’s horror with a literary edge.

Plus, can I get a heeeeell yeah for two exciting new short story acceptances? I most recently announced that “So Sings the Siren” will be appearing in the October Issue of Apex Magazine! AND that “White Paint” will be published in Cemetery Dance Magazine! (Issue TBA.) That’s two dreams come true right there. ♥♥ Both stories are literary horror – and they’re two of my best. I’m so pumped to share them with you.

While we’re looking forward to things, a quick rundown of what else is to come:

  • “The Lighthouse,” Fearful Fathoms: Collected Tales of Aquatic Terror (Vol. I), Scarlet Galleon Publications, August 29, 2017 → A weird, surreal, literary horror story that I think of as vaguely reminiscent of Julio Cortázar’s “La noche boca arriba.”
  • “Unravel,” HWA Poetry Showcase Volume IV, Horror Writers Association, 2017 → A very creepy free verse “love poem.” *evil laughter*
  • “Light and Liquor,” Undead: A Poetry Anthology of Ghouls, Ghosts, and More, Apex Publications, 2017 → A reprint of my spoon river poem delivered by a dead coal miner.
  • “Dealing in Shadows,” Suspended in Dusk 2, Grey Matter Press, January 9, 2018 → A heartfelt look at grief through the lens of speculative fiction.

Save some monies, because I’ve seen some cover previews and these are going to be GORGEOUS publications. And as always, if you ever want a recommendation or two catered towards your taste (or budget), just let me know!

As you can see, I’m as busy as ever. If you’ve been missing me here, rest assured I’m still around – just in different places. You can find me at LitReactor (my snarky side), Writer Unboxed (my sweet side), Facebook (my cat lady side), and my old standby, Twitter @AnnieNeugebauer. Or shoot me an email to say hi. 🙂

How have you all been? What has your summer held? I miss your sweet comment avatars; please fill me in on your latest below!

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Catharsis, Empathy, and Putting Ourselves in Our Fiction

“Catharsis” by Nelio Filipe

There’s a joke/not joke I’ve mentioned to a couple of my writing friends lately about that horrible moment of realization when you see quite clearly that your character is you. You’ve done all this work to develop her and fill out her background and give her a powerful, interesting arc, and then you realize it’s totally you. Most writers have that moment at some point, I think. Some of us very intentionally put ourselves in our fiction. But sometimes it sneaks up on us even when we think we haven’t. We come up against an unexpected intensity of emotion while we’re writing or revising or what have you, and we realize it’s so hard because we’re not just putting it on the page; we’re working through it in our hearts. So my “joke” is that all of my characters are me. Not just the protagonists, either, but all of them, in every book: main character, supporting, minor, even antagonists. They’re all shades of me.

I wonder if to non-writers that sounds like an egocentric statement. I suppose, in a way, it is, but I also believe, in a way, that it has to be. With beginning writers we see a lot of obvious protagonist/author connections because most everyone’s first book is herself in some fictionalized capacity. It’s kind of gentle joke among critique circles (gentle because we almost all do it, so no one’s judging): the main character’s name is suspiciously like the author’s, they have the same job, same ethnicity, age, family history, hairstyle, hobbies, etc. Sure, it might be set in space or 1885 or all the characters are dogs instead of people, but we’re not fooling anybody. I think it’s only natural for people who want to tell stories to start with their own.

As we write more and more, we learn to branch out. We study characterization and grow bolder, trying to write characters who are more and more different from our own experiences. We pour more depth and diversity into our supporting characters and antagonists, instead of just our protagonists. We write people who, we think, aren’t us.

But writing characters that read like people instead of characters is shockingly difficult. It is so freaking hard to create someone from scratch. We have to start from somewhere. And then we have to build a bridge between that starting place and our own ability to write that person we don’t actually know. That bridge is empathy.

I have a theory that reading a really good book is a form of sympathy, but writing a really good book is empathy. Sympathy isn’t enough to bring someone to life. That’s an outside view. We have to go inside, deep. To do that, we have to find empathy. We can’t just feel for them; we have to feel with them.

The way writers find empathy with characters who are unlike us is by finding the places where there is common ground. We design experiences that are similar to ones we’ve had – if not in surface view than at least in interior view. Maybe you’ve never been a queen betrayed by your closest advisor, but maybe you have been a woman betrayed by your closest friend. The situation is no longer real, but the emotion is. In really good fiction, the emotion must be.

Which is why, I think, really good fiction has so much of the author in it. It’s an unavoidable consequence of creating people from thin air. There’s no such thing as thin air; there is only the pulpy matter of our brains and hearts. There is only us, over and over in hundreds of iterations.

I can sense writers objecting. Hell, I’m objecting. One of the suckiest parts of being a fiction writer is how much people assume they can know about you from your work. Many of us, especially those of us who tend toward darker or deeply emotional work, don’t want readers to assume things about us based on what we write. Horror writers, for example, are sick to death of people assuming we write what we write because we were abused or traumatized. Fiction is fiction for a reason, and although it’s vital for writers to try to put ourselves into our work, it’s impossible for readers to know where and in which capacity we’ve done so. Even things people could pick out as distinctly true from me/my life aren’t reliable representations of how I really feel or what really happened. Frequently I borrow a frame and flip the perspective or take an event and twist the reactions or make up an event and keep the emotions… on and on.

So while it’s impossible for readers to definitively know details about a writer’s life from our fictional work, I also think it’s impossible not to see a writer’s heart in their work. And truly impossible to write anything of great value without pouring our heart into it. Sure, things can be just for fun – I do that too, and it’s wonderful – but everything we choose to do says something revelatory about us.

The bad news is that we, as writers, can’t avoid revealing ourselves to readers.

The good news is that catharsis is a real thing, and every time we write ourselves – villain or hero, sidekick or sage – we purge and learn and grow. We offer something of great importance not just to readers, but to ourselves. We bring ourselves to the page over and over again because that is how we create ourselves, from hundreds of tiny pieces viewed from thousands of different angles, eventually fitting together to shape an imperfect and beautiful whole.

The bad news is that if we want to create powerful, memorable fiction, we can’t avoid doing the emotional work of building a bridge of empathy between ourselves and our characters – i.e., writing ourselves over and over. Digging into the muck bucket.

The good news is that this ability to build bridges of empathy between our experiences and the experiences of characters unlike ourselves is the same ability that allows us to not just sympathize but empathize with human beings unlike ourselves. It’s the foundation of understanding and love on a global scale.

The bad news is that this is really, really hard.

The good news is that it’s worth it.

What say you, writers and readers? Thoughts of all sorts are welcome below.

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I, Pandora

Hey guys! Today will be short and sweet, because I’m reprinting a poem for you here. First, a few things you might’ve missed from me lately:

  • My Writing Expense and Income Tracking Spreadsheet is for sale! It’s a budget aid designed to help all types of writers at all levels of their careers. Today is the last day to get the discounted price of $6 with the coupon code PriorityWeek .
  • My latest column at LitReactor is called “But How Do I Write It? Methods for Matching the Medium.” It’s all about how writers decide which format to manifest our ideas into.
  • I have a few bits of news on my Facebook page, along with my signature odd assortment of cute cats, cool creepy stuff, and bookish talk. I’d love for you to join me there!

Okay, back to today. “I, Pandora” was first published in the Merging Visions anthology Collections II and then reprinted in the Denton Record Chronicle as well as A Texas Garden of Verses by the Poetry Society of Texas. I hope you enjoy it.

I, Pandora

Laden with clay jar,
Pandora, blessed with gift, with scar,
eyes bright and two lips curious –
furious for being sent
as punishment for theft of fire,
for mankind’s desire to acquire –
imagining she’ll free a star,
the sapphire, kiss, or land afar,
she twists the lid off, sure and swift,
and out fly sins and fear and hate:
setting her adrift upon her fate.

© Annie Neugebauer, 2012

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