Originally posted on Monday, June 06, 2011, 3:30:00 PM
20. More satisfying nose-blows.
19. It’s much harder to block my airways.
18. With such a pointed focus, I can cross my eyes better than anyone I know.
17. I can track like a blood hound.
16. People mistake me for Sarah Jessica Parker all the time.
15. It makes me look… “distinguished.”
14. All other things being equal, I will always win a photo-finish race.
13. People whiskers: my schnoz lets me know when my face is too close to something.
12. I’m a master at the pre-kiss head tilt.
11. No one can even tell when I’m lying.
10. I know what snozberries smell like.
9. It actually has health benefits. A larger beak can provide protection against disease and allergens, as it inhales nearly 7% fewer pollutants than a small snout.
8. It keeps my lipstick dry in the rain.
7. Modeling opportunities as the “before” picture for plastic surgeons.
6. My toucan impression is better than yours.
5. It’s like a car bumper for my face; where a small-nose person might need full facial reconstruction, I’ll only need a nose job, potentially saving me thousands.
4. I can make little-nose people envious with one sneeze.
3. Excellent long-distance poking.
2. Built in air warmer. My lungs don’t get as cold as people with smaller sniffers.
1. My sunglasses never fall off.
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