15 Ways to Tell whether you are a Critique Group Regular, or Veteran

Originally posted on Sunday, ‎September ‎11, ‎2011, ‏‎2:45:00 PM

15.

You’re a critique group regular if… your paperclips constantly mysteriously disappear.

You’re a critique group veteran if… your paperclips constantly find themselves replaced with different paperclips.

14.

You’re a critique group regular if… you know all the writing terminology (“show don’t tell,” “point of view switch,” “dangling modifier”;).

You’re a critique group veteran if… you’ve developed your own writing terminology (“distancers,” “emotional honesty,” “clarity paranoia”;).

13.

You’re a critique group regular if… your cat has finally gotten bored with your printer.

You’re a critique group veteran if… your cat has a personal vendetta against your printer.

12.

You’re a critique group regular if… you carry a red pen in your purse (or pants).

You’re a critique group veteran if… you carry a blue/purple/green pen in your purse or pants, because red makes you twitch.

11.

You’re a critique group regular if… you’ve become a master at doling out “shit sandwiches” (compliment, critique, compliment).

You’re a critique group veteran if… you’ve actually come to like the taste of shit sandwiches.

10.

You’re a critique group regular if… every night you tell your spouse or roommate what they could have improved on that day.

You’re a critique group veteran if… every night you tell your pets what they could have improved on that day.

9.

You’re a critique group regular if… you’ve begun recycling because you feel guilty using so much paper.

You’re a critique group veteran if… trees curse you as you walk by.

8.

You’re a critique group regular if… the regulars in your critique group have become some of your closest friends.

You’re a critique group veteran if… the regulars in your critique group have become your only friends.

7.

You’re a critique group regular if… when your alarm clock goes off, you think it’s time to move on to the next writer.

You’re a critique group veteran if… when your alarm clock goes off, you start talking faster.

6.

You’re a critique group regular if… you know better than anyone that libraries are the coldest places on earth.

You’re a critique group veteran if… you’ve learned to thrive in hypothermic conditions.

5.

You’re a critique group regular if… you can only read books six pages at a time.

You’re a critique group veteran if… all of your books have editing marks in them – even the library books (whoops).

4.

You’re a critique group regular if… you know to go easy on the noobs (double-stacked shit sandwiches).

You’re a critique group veteran if… you know instinctively which noobs to go easy on.

3.

You’re a critique group regular if… you’ve gotten more tactful at defending your choices during group.

You’re a critique group veteran if… you’ve stopped trying to defend your choices – ever.

2.

You’re a critique group regular if… you’ve started printing on the backs of your pages.

You’re a critique group veteran if… you steal paper out of recycling bins to print on the back of.

1.

You’re a critique group regular if… things you read/hear/see make you think of your critique partners’ stories.

You’re a critique group veteran if… things you read/hear/see make you think of your critique partners.

Note: My critique group is awesome! We’re full of regulars and veterans, plus the occasional unsuspecting noob. 😛 If you’re looking for a group in the Denton/DFW area, we’d love for you to stop by!

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