Originally posted on Sunday, September 11, 2011, 2:45:00 PM
15.
You’re a critique group regular if… your paperclips constantly mysteriously disappear.
You’re a critique group veteran if… your paperclips constantly find themselves replaced with different paperclips.
14.
You’re a critique group regular if… you know all the writing terminology (“show don’t tell,” “point of view switch,” “dangling modifier”;).
You’re a critique group veteran if… you’ve developed your own writing terminology (“distancers,” “emotional honesty,” “clarity paranoia”;).
13.
You’re a critique group regular if… your cat has finally gotten bored with your printer.
You’re a critique group veteran if… your cat has a personal vendetta against your printer.
12.
You’re a critique group regular if… you carry a red pen in your purse (or pants).
You’re a critique group veteran if… you carry a blue/purple/green pen in your purse or pants, because red makes you twitch.
11.
You’re a critique group regular if… you’ve become a master at doling out “shit sandwiches” (compliment, critique, compliment).
You’re a critique group veteran if… you’ve actually come to like the taste of shit sandwiches.
10.
You’re a critique group regular if… every night you tell your spouse or roommate what they could have improved on that day.
You’re a critique group veteran if… every night you tell your pets what they could have improved on that day.
9.
You’re a critique group regular if… you’ve begun recycling because you feel guilty using so much paper.
You’re a critique group veteran if… trees curse you as you walk by.
8.
You’re a critique group regular if… the regulars in your critique group have become some of your closest friends.
You’re a critique group veteran if… the regulars in your critique group have become your only friends.
7.
You’re a critique group regular if… when your alarm clock goes off, you think it’s time to move on to the next writer.
You’re a critique group veteran if… when your alarm clock goes off, you start talking faster.
6.
You’re a critique group regular if… you know better than anyone that libraries are the coldest places on earth.
You’re a critique group veteran if… you’ve learned to thrive in hypothermic conditions.
5.
You’re a critique group regular if… you can only read books six pages at a time.
You’re a critique group veteran if… all of your books have editing marks in them – even the library books (whoops).
4.
You’re a critique group regular if… you know to go easy on the noobs (double-stacked shit sandwiches).
You’re a critique group veteran if… you know instinctively which noobs to go easy on.
3.
You’re a critique group regular if… you’ve gotten more tactful at defending your choices during group.
You’re a critique group veteran if… you’ve stopped trying to defend your choices – ever.
2.
You’re a critique group regular if… you’ve started printing on the backs of your pages.
You’re a critique group veteran if… you steal paper out of recycling bins to print on the back of.
1.
You’re a critique group regular if… things you read/hear/see make you think of your critique partners’ stories.
You’re a critique group veteran if… things you read/hear/see make you think of your critique partners.
Note: My critique group is awesome! We’re full of regulars and veterans, plus the occasional unsuspecting noob. 😛 If you’re looking for a group in the Denton/DFW area, we’d love for you to stop by!
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