The Best Blog Ever

Originally posted on April 20, 2010 at 6:07 PM

Today marks the one-year anniversary of my blogging adventures. 132 blog entries and over 2,000 hits later, I now have a website with its own URL, no ads, a tagline, and a fairly steady following. Thank you all, very much, for your continued interest and support.

I’ve thought a bit, for the past week or so, about how best to celebrate such an occasion. Many possibilities came to mind, most of them incredibly lame, and I eventually decided to settle on writing a blog. The best blog ever. So buckle up your seatbelts, kiddos, and wipe off your goggles.

This paragraph is poignant. It’s so elegantly written that it draws unwilling tears to your eyes like rapid drops of honey-dew dripping down an invisible line from your soul. It’s like the most well-written book you’ve ever read. The spine is broken in so many places from being re-read, and every other page is dog-eared in an attempt to preserve this feeling—in hopes of being able to come back and savor it all again later. This paragraph is well-worn.

This paragraph is hilarious. You just laughed out loud, a caught-off-guard chortle that made your spouse, cat, or resident ghost look up in surprise with one eyebrow raised to see what’s so funny. But you can’t tell him/her/it just yet, because your belly hurts too much from laughter. How this girl comes up with these things is beyond you, but you sure enjoy it. Finally, with a winded sigh, you begin to reread this paragraph aloud to your companion. This paragraph is worth sharing.

This paragraph is going to hit the search engines like the news of brand new scandal. It has so many buzz words crammed down its pre-meditated throat that Google’s web crawler will explode when it makes it here. An English student in South Korea will be gawking over the information contained within even as a philosophy professor in Canada does the same. They will all look behind them before they click on it, self-conscious even as their curiosity is peaked by its carefully chosen title. This paragraph is a guilty pleasure.

This paragraph is thought-provoking. It’s somewhat controversial viewpoint is presented so eloquently that people who oppose it can’t be upset, only annoyed that someone on the other side sounded so good. The people who already agree will cheer loudly, a robust sound celebrating, “Score one for the team!” People on the fence will jump over, happy to finally have figured out which side is greener. Everyone will prop their chin on his or her fist, bite the inside of his or her cheek, and let loose a thoughtful “hmm.” This paragraph is a thinker.

This paragraph is the last one, and that makes you feel nostalgic. Its cohesiveness makes all of the other paragraphs One; it is both satisfying and surprising. Somehow, there was a thin, invisible thread winding its way through the carefully planned sections of this blog entry, and now they all make sense. They make you want to come back, reread. They make you want to become a member, even though you don’t know me, just so you can read more. It’s okay. It’s cool to be a member. Go ahead. Do it.

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